Month: September 2012

Birds in song, when the road is long!

Creative writing is very new to me, I have not in the past felt that it was something I was good at, and am very much in the early stages of it now. My creative writing course officially begins in 2 days time! Whilst I was sorting the washing today, these words were jumping around in my head, finally i sat down and wrote them out, the kitchen was brimming with noise, cars were whizzing past, the washing machine was making the deafening noises that they tend to like to do….the original ending for the poem was ‘And I cannot hear the birds sing their happy happy song’ but just as wrote that line down, silence completely fell upon my kitchen, the cars stopped, the washing machine paused and the only sound I could hear were two birds chirping to each other from the tree in the garden, that for me was enough to suggest that my ending was wrong!!!

I know that one day I will look,

and you will be gone.

Until then, I try to keep control,

to be strong.

But, one day you will realise,

that this is simply wrong.

The road is really dark,

and oh so bloody long.

And yet, the only sound I hear,

are two lovebirds, in song.

Domestic goddesss

I’ve spent the morning at a friends house today helping her out with some hardcore cleaning, you see she has 3 children and a husband that is locked in the dark ages, his opinion is simple he works so why should he help with the housework. The simple truth is that it would be great if she were able to cope, but she can’t, surely a husbands job is to support his wife, the mother of his children….well apparently not. I offered my help to you (as I have done in the past) for the simple reason that as a society we seem so quick to judge a person and yet so slow to offer them support.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect, I am most likely as bad as the rest at judging people with out all the facts. But I have also been in the position where I have been judged by people who should have been offering support rather than evil, vindictive words. It is for this simple reason that instead of judging I offered her help, I got nothing from it (except an achy back!!, and a lovely cup of coffee!).

Were made to believe that as a society we have progressed, left behind us the days of old where women were seen as second class citizens, and marriages now offer equality….but do they really?

Too many of my female friends seem to pamper to the needs of the men in their lives, from allowing themselves to cry because the man has said the home is a mess, the dinners burnt, my washing isn’t clean through to arranging all of their free time around their mans schedule….so where is the equality?

And yet at the same time it makes me wonder would my own marriage be more harmonious if instead of leaving my husbands work clothes to fester in a pile because he hasn’t put them into the washing basket, I just simply did it, perhaps if i were to wear a little french maids outfit and be the perfect house wife…would our marriage be a happy equal affair, more importantly would I be happy in that role, domestic servant at your ready? Or perhaps I should never have said, if you don’t like how I do it, do it yourself!

You see when I married my husband it was for love, I became his wife, not his cleaner, or cook, just simply his wife. The same goes for when I had our child, I became a mum, a stay at home mum, and so yes I do the housework, but I expect my husband to help out (which he is not great at!!). Yet we automatically assume a stay at home mum to be a ‘housewife’, im not a housewife, im a bloody excellent mum my ability to clean the house and have everything in perfect order, does not even come close to having anything to do with my abilities as a mum.

So why do we judge so quickly, my friend today needed help, not because she can’t cope, but because she has a husband that secretly yearns to wear a caveman outfit. Of course my advice to her was cut of all sex till the man gets of his arse, but the reality we have it so ingrained into us that a harmonious household means meeting the needs of the man, that she will never stand up to him and he will never change….and thats great if it works for them.

So my question to the universe is this…does being a domestic goddess, that pampers to her mans every need that struggles on without support, that puts the needs of others (adults) before there own make for a perfect harmonious marriage?

What a mistake we made…

Oh, what a mistake we’ve made,
You never should have gone,
You really should have stayed.
So many years have come and gone,
So many tears, so many wrongs.
With lovers for company,
we were never alone,
are all chances finally blown? 
Or does the lure of the extroadinary,
that hides beneath the ordinary,
call out your name,
can things ever be the same.
Oh, what a mistake we made.

 

Just rambling thoughts

If you know you can’t ever win, that you can’t compete, that you’re simply not as good as the other person not even close…should you give up? Should one person be stronger than the other, and say no more? Where do we draw the line at the things we may live to regret, and the things we need to leave behind. How do you know. What if your very own principles that you worked so hard to become, are the very thing that hold you back? fate? what if against all odds, you find yourself in this position, should you then consider that perhaps there is a reason for it? and that perhaps giving up would be wrong? How about a leap of faith, believe and it shall be? But what if it is just sheer coincidence, meaningless, well then surely the battle is lost before it has even begun? How do you know which fights you should stick around for, and which ones you should simply leave in the past. Should you rely on your head, that tells you the statistics, the chances of failure, the probabilities of devestation. Or your heart that says fight on, you would not be in this fight if you were not meant to be…..

blossomsworld

You don’t hear me.

Even my screams go unheard.

I want you, I need you.

You are everywhere.

How can you be everywhere and not hear me?

Perhaps you do hear me,

so what stops you?

Perfection?

You have before you, pure perfection.

A mould of everything you believe yourself to desire.

Safety.

I can not compete, I am not perfect.

I know this, and you know this.

So you block out my voice, my words.

You are safe, you are happy.

My voice  fades away, a distant memory,

No longer heard.

You have lost, I was perfect.

You just never stopped to listen.

To your heart, and not your head.

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