Stagnation, the future of the cloned unknown. -Promote Yourself

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I try to understand. 
Myself. 
These tainted thoughts
that threaten
To possess my broken, 
chaotic
Mind.
But I merely find…
Desire that awakens me,
Indecision 
that will one
Day 
fill me with such despair,
That I may,
No longer care.
I thought,
I had
tried so
Terribly
Hard to keep
You at a far.
But I never did,
I never hid, 
I let you
In to explore,
I wanted more.
Choices, the undeniable
Evolutionary voices. 
It cannot be
Avoided
Forever,
To not make the decision ever,
Is an involuntary request
To the universe to
Reverse,
What has been given,
The offering of desire,
Of taste, of chaotic
Frenzied abandonment,
Lost, 
with the indecision
Of a caged mind, bound
By a soulless
Society,
That 
will 
never 
free,
Me.
Karen A Hayward.

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All i never wanted.

I never wanted children.
I wanted late nights and plenty of sleep.
I wanted to work.
I wanted to eat,
I was selfish, I see.
But not entirely.
I just wanted to be.
I wanted more,
Wisdom at my door,
So I lived and loved,
Till I knew the score.
I had a dream,
I have a dream,
I wanted to look after the mean,
the broken the unwanted, awoken.
I wanted to love
The rough
And the tough.
If only for a moment,
to show them
They are enough.
I wanted to foster,
Not bear my own,
The broken seeds
That were sown,
the souls dealt
Life’s harsh hand,
I wanted to show them
they were more than
Grains of sand.
That slipped through
The fingers of
Unknown faces,
The cracks in the paper,
The educated carers
Without their own life
Bearers.

I burn the flames that light my way.

At first,
i did wonder how
you had crept in
through the maze of poison ivy.
Soft whispers that had resonated with my spirit.
But now I see,
that the spirit is filled with interwoven paths.
Wake one and another will feed from the energy,
until all paths are lit with the burning flames of essence. It’s not you igniting them, although you are inviting them,
it’s me with flame in hand, ready again to walk the land.

Goddess of the ebbing tide, where do you hide?

image

Ebbing sea of dreams,
Do you have the truths,
That we all do seek?
You travel so far,
You must be tired,
Do you sleep beneath the stars?
Does the moon sprinkle,
Diamond dust upon your
Moving tides,
A cloak, where the mermaids hide?
Oh ebbing tides of
The moons desires,
Do you seek
The one that bleeds,
As your master wakes,
Illuminating,
the great lakes.
Do you see the paths
That must be walked,
The words,
That must be talked.
The pain that will release,
The fufures,
That will bring peace?
oh ebbing sea of dreams,
Do you have the truths that I seek?

Karen Ann bread and jam!

I remember a time when all I could cook was toast.
At the very most,
Toast and jam,
Which pleased my elders,
As they flew down memory lane,
Karen Ann bread and jam,
It’s all she ate then,
It’s all she eats now.
I remember a time when
It was you in the kitchen,
Bitching,
Cos it was never me,
I used to run and flee,
When the pans came out,
And dad did shout.
I remember calling you up,
To find out,
How to bake a potato,
Yep,
A potato,
Cos i didn’t know.
And how to make
Cup cakes.
At first, she, would make me
Rhubarb crumble to take home,
I certainly never moaned.
Dad fed me, at every opportunity,
Always ringing, to see
Whether i was free.
Then I realised I missed
real food,
I missed dads dinners,
I missed vegetables, bolognaise,
I missed bolognaise the most,
Dad made one, of which to boast.
So I set out to cook,
Didn’t use a book,
There was always the chip shop,
If it was a flop.

I remember a time,
I tell my daughter
As i take the fruit strudel
Out from the oven,
and turn the cheesy scones,
A quick stir of the thick tomato sauce speckled with basil ,
I remember a time, when Grandad let me be, so I could play, till the day that I was ready. I remember a day when I couldn’t cook,
not even with a book.