Words of wisdom that speak to me. 30 day writing challenge.

Okay so i’m pretty sure that the words of wisdom that I live my life by are actually a combination of great things said by great people which I have then processed and converted to fit into my own ideologies. However here they are :).

  1. Never, ever go to bed or walk away angry. This is such an important thing to me and unfortunately something my hubby doesn’t agree on, which often leaves me feeling devastated! So, why? Why do I believe that anger should always be resolved straight away. Apart from the obvious that you don’t know what will happen at any given moment in time, my love for a person, whether that is a friend or a lover or a family member, is and always will be stronger than any anger I can feel.
  2. That whole flower quote, if you love it leave it to grow malarky, hell yeah.
  3. Wet clothes take them off…yep, totally if you get caught in the rain then you need to take the wet clothes off, otherwise that coldness will seep right through to your bones. Best wait till you get home though, cos otherwise you might get some filthy looks stripping in the rain!
  4. Do the hard stuff first. Whether this is eating the yucky bit of a dinner first or tackling the hard chores first. It makes a difference. Once as the hard bit is out of the way I can sit back and truly enjoy what is in front of me.
  5. If you can, then do. If I can help someone then I will. If I can stop and let that person in the morning have a chat with me, then I will. If I can reach the top shelf and you can’t then I will. If I can be a shoulder whilst you cry, I will. If I have what you need, and I don’t need it, then I will. There aren’t a great deal of things in life that I can do to help others. But everything I can do, I do. I do it because I want to. I do it because I know how it feels to not be seen, so if I can see a person then I will.
  6. Always think a few steps ahead.
  7. Fuck it. Sometimes you gotta sit back say fuck it and just enjoy the show. Things happen for a reason and there ain’t always something you can do about that.So relax. You’ll soon discover the reason.
  8. Never get shampoo in your eyes…that shit hurts, if you do then a wet cold flannel will help. Milk also helps.
  9. If there’s a puddle walk through it. If there’s a rainbow stop and look at it.
  10. Always stop what you are doing to give a child your full attention. Your actions teach a child how to become an adult. Don’t ever forget that.
  11. If there’s lego, build.
  12. Paints, paint. No one cares what the end result looks like. Paint for your soul not for the eyes of others.
  13. Stop letting the opinions of others take up residency in your head. They are often as lost as you and they have their own battle to fight. Ignore them, smile and move on.
  14. If it makes your heart sing and your soul skip a beat, do it, do it daily, do it hourly.

Ok that’s my list. I’m sure i have more, in fact I think my entire existance is based on words of wisdom. đŸ™‚

 

Karen Hayward (2015) ©

The white pill that controls time.

Clock watching as the first one’s failed to work

Sands of time each grain rips through me

I’ll take them again and there’s another to try

and I wonder would it be better to break down and cry.

The the soft fine rain falls on my skin

and I remember I was born with strength within.

Deep breaths and mind filled with song

distractions so time will not be long.

Each rip, each pull, each broken form

the violence of life’s eternal storm.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015.

Share something you struggle with. 30 day writing challenge.

  • Burning the porridge.
  • Sleeping for more than a couple of hours.
  • Being cold.
  • Watching football.
  • Cold baths
  • Brushing my hair when there’s a tuggy!
  • Flavored chocolate, oh dear God why would they do that and even worse why then place mint/ orange chocolate next to normal chocolate do they not realise that flavor seeps through into my delicious chocolate!
  • Being loved..I can love others with ease, I just don’t see when others love me, so seriously peeps, placard marker pen and stick it in my face a million times…even then can’t promise i’ll see it!
  • People not treating my daughter right!
  • Mean people!
  • Too much noise.
  • Not being clumsy!
  • Being told what to do!
  • Life, at times!

I wrote this as a bullet list because I couldn’t settle on one single thing that I struggle with. The truth is I struggle with loads just like we all do, somethings more so than others!

A mothers voice in chaos.

♥ For Emily-Rose, always I will be your voice.

 

Dear Teacher,

They tell me to empower you to show you the way

to tell you the things that you really should say.

They tell me to stay calm and use positive words

but surely you know the definition of these terms.

Individuals you say you treat them the same

a contradiction of words your excuses are lame.

But you know best, you learned from a book

and just a few years is all it took.

You’ve seen it before you’ll see it again

these kids to you are simply a pain.

They need this, they need that

and fidget constantly where they are sat.

They’re calm, they’re a whirlwind, a tornado of sorts

and no one really knows what’s in those thoughts.

So hard to reach

so hard to teach,

so listen now to a mothers speech.

Listen to me and you’ll hear her voice

anxiety is not her choice.

She doesn’t choose to with hold

or do exactly what she’s told.

She isn’t all smiles and happy and love

why can’t you see she finds school tough?

Open your eye’s and watch how she flies,

can’t you see how much she tries?

she mimics the world but the clues are there

please, just show her that you actually care.

Do as you tell and look as you see

be the person you want her to be.

Don’t tell her you will, you can and it’s done

her fears are real not a bit of fun.

I know she’s a mouse in a black hole of silence

but the anxiety she feels is an internal violence.

Stop looking past, over and through

show her that she can trust you.

Each day I stand back and watch her walk

knowing she’s spending another day unable to talk.

You’ll utter across her avoiding her eyes,

‘why didn’t tell me? Why?’

Your tone has gone up, your body has moved

gone is the voice all tender and smooth.

She did wrong, she did wrong and doesn’t know why

her tears are swelling she just wants to cry.

But you hold that stare, the one filled with fear

waiting for the answer to suddenly appear.

The answer to what? The why’s and the hows

forgotten by the now’s?

Why am I telling you this

you trained for years to become their Miss.

Why every few months are we here once again

whatever I tell you, it ain’t gonna change.

So I take a deep breath and think of glitter

trying to push back the emotional bitter.

I smile and talk and go through the list

hoping to God there’s nothing I’ve missed.

You’ll nod and agree and say you can see

this is reality, the way it will always be.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015

 

Coke and wine.

I hear the wine flowing and the glasses chink

as you miss the table and hit the sink.

Mother and daughter addictions together

thrown in the garden whatever the weather.

You talk above the same old songs, and I wonder

if you know that your behavouir is wrong

or that there’s a rat in your kitchen running a mock

it’s a matter of time, tick fucking tock.

As predictable as the sun that moves the dial

smeared face and blood shot eyes is your style.

Mother dearest your spirit is broke

I saw this in your face the moment we spoke.

Fuck this and fuck that ‘cos the world is so screwed

but you never consider that the problem starts with you.

Ten green bottles sitting on the wall

every single night I hear them fall.

A knock at the door and the bed springs go

Daughter dearest, do you think we don’t know?

You sing as it moves to cover the sound

to hide the white powder,  another round?

Your a tight knit unit all full of love

broken souls that are fucked up and stuff.

Excited greetings and laughing galore

filling the glasses who wants more?

Voices go up voices go down

I can actually hear when you’re wearing your frown.

The music begins and everyone sings

till the spiteful tongue brings out its sting.

Tears are falling and the mask no longer fits

true colours shining none of you give a shit.

The lamp is broke, the glasses shattered

not that any that truly mattered.

You scream you push, so much pressure

you lose the very thing you pretend to treasure.

Flashing lights and a friendly face

an easy call for them to trace,

again today, again tomorrow

mother and daughter full of so much sorrow.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015

 

 

 

 

Release.

The finger tapping sound of frustration constantly drumming in my blood.

My body stings for the release of these non negotiable feelings that

hinder me so.

Locked inside a cage, flaming red spilling down the bars as they vibrate on a personal frequency.

Let me out of these restraints. Come closer let me feel you there.

This need just keeps on growing a distraction of the mind.

To make up to feel to touch to see to have us be.

To utter nothing but the screams of passion. To feel nothing

but the pounding throb of satisfaction. Empty me, empty my

thoughts and replace them with your touch. Peel away my tiredness

and replace it with your sensual energy. Take away this need that

I have to devour you, give yourself to me. Lay naked with me beneath

the dying stars. Trail the moons loving light across my skin with

with your soft and tender lips. For a moment, a moment in time

that cannot be taken, a pause between the worlds. Gently guide

my thoughts through this mind field of destruction. Take me, take

me there to that place where I can scream as waves of pleasure

release me from these chains of life. Take me, take away what I

cannot do and replace it with what I can.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015.