Breathe and repeat.

 

I’ve counted to ten a thousand times since

waking to the gloom of another day filled

with yesterdays problems. The air is sucked

from my lungs, the deep niggling desire is

rising. Frustration sits in my throat, heart

beating, beating, beating. My muscles have

transformed into rock and I wonder if I

smash them open will I find crystals

gleaming back at me or just stone and more stone.

Fuck and fuck again i’ll continue to mumble this

beneath my breath as the suns rays burn into me as

I stare blankly into a solid blue sky whilst the world

continues to crumble around me. Dead rose petals

blackening at the edges reflect the mood inside my

heart. The fragrance lost, the depth highlighted,

life draining from them. Transparent the veins

an array of purple lines scribbled across the petal.

Defeat weighing heavy on my shoulders and I

despise that I have shoulders capable of carrying

these burdens. I despise what you have made me,

despise what I have become. Despise the multitude

of faces you force me to wear as you sit back watching.

Watching as I hold together the strings.

My fingers are bleeding, they’re ripping through

the palms of my hands, frustration clawing at my

throat.

Ten,

Nine,

Eight,

Seven,

Six,

Five,

Four,

Three

Two,

One….. breathe and repeat!!

 

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