The past: (The Empress, reversed)


Earth mother, Venus

caged inner feelings. Belief.

Over loaded, block.

The present: (Ace of Swords, reversed)

Clarity clouded

chaotic aspirations

lost true direction.

The future: The Star. (Upright)

Ibis, tree of mind

loving phase, future divine

destiny, calling card.


Karen Hayward ©2016

With the devil at her side.


Digress beyond all reason pick apart my words, the devil knows your name he listens and he’s heard. With venom in his horns and poison on his tongue it angers him to see you hurt his fallen one. He wonders why you hate, he wonders why you sneer, he wonders why it is his angel keeps you near. He gives to her a pen to write away her woes,  a smooth and empty page a place for her to show. He gives to her the heavens and skies upon the earth and fills her waking moments with an eternal mirth. And still the devil wonders why she cannot see her worth.  With angels at her feet and halos in the skies, he gives himself to her to teach her how to fly. But she will not leave the branch she will not trust the fall, brick upon brick she builds another wall. And deep with in her mind she wanders in a haze around the constant walls that create her chaotic maze. He knows she will not fall, for the devil knows it all. He ponders on his quest and searches through the mess. He has to find the answers, what keeps her rooted there, he searches through the darkness to find what she won’t share. And down upon his knees, crimson tears roll across his cheek, for the root that he has found it runs so very deep. He pulls and he tugs and carves it with his knife, pleading with her please break free from this life. For the devil knows your name, he hangs his head in shame spitting venom in your tea in the hope that you will see and set his fallen angel free. But the devil has a nose, there isn’t a scent he doesn’t know. He smells the fear in your blood the indifference in your sperm the spite on your spit, and suddenly it all fits. So the devil in his wisdom, as wise as he can be, conversed with the angels and made a plan to set her free. As darkness falls he whispers in her ear, as twilight is he pulls her from her sleep, as day begins his angels weep for the shame that hides for the shame she keeps.
But the devil takes her hand and pulls her too her feet, with the devil at her side she will never be beat. With the devil at her side, with the devil at her back, she’ll walk through nettled paths and stumble upon rocks, but with the devil at her back, she will find her beaten track.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Locked outside of time.


I need to taste my soul upon the essence of your seed. Filled with passions love, this is the thing I need.
I want to taste the atoms that form the inner you. I need to feel your fingers as they explore what is so surely true. I need to give myself, my sigh and every moan, I need for you to feel this pleasure you have sown. I need to feel your heat, I need to feel your skin, I need so much to feel, us falling into sin. I have to feel that charge that breaks down every wall, as we explore the concepts break societies rules. Push me to my limits, make me feel you with my soul, make me feel the pleasure make me feel the pain, let nothing but our lust reign. Hold me as I’m yours hold me as your mine,  hold me I. This moment whilst were locked outside of time.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Fly warrior.

You chase the Diptera as though you are a warrior. I want to grab arms and fight you. I want to fight you as you spray poison onto my freshly cleaned surface, and you walk away. I want to declare war as you kick a towel to the side so it is no longer in your way…as if it were ever in your way. I want to fight you as you watch me, fighting, fighting to carve out of the chaos what is mine, but you don’t believe I am deserving and so you kick back, watching, waiting for me to fail, to give in. You have the TV waiting for me and are ready to teach me how to not see the world, you are the expert the master of clones. I want to fight you, my tongue bleeds from the indent of my teeth and my dark place lays unprotected today calling me in, whispering to me venom that spreads into my blood. I hear the hissing of the poison as you head back toward me. I sink my teeth back in and taste the blood as it spills down my throat.

Karen Hayward ©2016

My assistance has a price.

Cold wall at my back.
The ticking clock the
taunting clock,
beckoning the hour
of darkness.
You wait to piece
together my
Self in the
arms of indifference.
You have needs
that must be
attended to,
your time so very
you must alleviate the
stress of idleness
with brown glass
A job
A job and I
will no longer
work alone. The devil
wants my soul.
Darkness calls.
Time continues to
move. My mind has
slowed. My muscles hurt.
My body tired.
Raphael shroud me
beneath your wings,
for I will not sell my soul.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Please, never thank me.


Thank you…never have these words hurt more than when you are sobbing in my arms.
Thank you… never does a tear come so close then when fear has you in its grip…and you are thankful that I am there.
Thank you…never more than now have I wanted to tell you to please, please forget your manners.
For never when you are breaking do you need to thank me for being there.

Karen Hayward ©2016

More storms, we are camped out eating ice creams under the covers 😀

Sunrise makes me whole.


I only hear the melody dancing in the breeze, sun light skipping merrily through the summer leaves. Golden rays of love fall upon my skin as the morning chorus stops to whistle and to sing. Above a sky so blue my thoughts wander, pause at you. A moment  trapped in time, you inside my mind. And the skies above are pure, and the sun reaches more and more and the birds they sing of love as they whisper to the day and they fly around and play. The sunlight creeps along heating up soul, in the silence of he morning I feel so very whole.

Karen Hayward ©2016

To fuse.

Baby, sweety, honey pie…what’s your name?
Come with me let’s play a game.
It seems to me you haven’t a clue
Of a world that exists outside of you.
A little turn, a little twist
A little flick of my delicate wrist.
I like to screw
with you.
Especially when you haven’t clue.
So baby, sweety…come and see…
either get off your arse and fucking help me,
Or this little fuse that rattles in my pocket,
that belongs in the TV socket
will remain just there.
I know it isn’t fair, I’m a really horrible girl,
great, welcome to my fucking world.
Here i will leave you a screw driver…
but I might have swapped a wire.
My bad.
Please don’t be sad.

Karen Hayward ©2016