I am laughter. 

Captive rattled bars

A lost echo of laughter

Dying in shadows. 

A turned key

Luminosity expels

Joys source reignited…

I am again to

Be the light particles 

Of divine energy

The ashes of rebirth

Scattered on a winter 

Breeze. I am the 

Phoenix and I shall rise

Far beyond the murky

Waters of reprise. 
Karen Hayward ©2016 (words and image) 

And the darkness it consumed me…

And the darkness it engulfed me, took away my light.

And the coldness it became me till love was lost from sight.

And the shadows they caressed me, my comfort in the dark,

And the cave it did consume me and I forgot about the stars.

And the seconds felt like hours and the hours felt like days

And suddenly I realised this life was not okay.

I was tired treading water and feared the sudden rise,

All life had drained away from my sparkling eyes.

My voice was but a whisper, dreams shattered on the floor,

In the darkness of this cave I could live no more.
I clambered in the dark, felt my away around,

It took a little time and I tumbled on the ground.
I stood among the shadows the emptiness my friend,

Speckled on the walls I planned a different end.

I looked into the light and fear filled me to my core,

So I slipped into the darkness to plan a little more.

The water keeps on rising I’m drowning in a sea,

So sure that I’m alone I forget how to believe.

I give away my heart I sell it to the cold,

the devil gave a snigger, before declaring it sold.

And deep inside the cave I died a little more,

my death the strength i needed as I crumpled to the floor.
So I clambered in the dark, found my way around,

And it took a little while and I tumbled on the ground.

 

So now I stand alone the shadows are my freinds,

I plan another life with a beautiful end.

But the rocks are all so sharp the rising waters keep me down,

I constantly tread water or else I’ll surely drown.

I planned a life of me no rush upon my time,

the darkness is my friend now, together we are fine.

But the universe could see this my indifference to my heart,

So just outside the cave they placed a shining star.

I saw it in the dark I saw it in the light.

It gave to me fresh promises, it offered me much fright.

 

So I clambered in the dark found my way around,

And it took a little while and I tumbled on the ground.

 

I watched it from the shadows as it danced beneath the moon

I watched and I soon realised the star caused me to bloom.

But fear upon my soul and darkness in my heart,

I have to leave this cave and that drop is oh so far.

So the sky bent down to reach me, gave to me the light,

It waits in shallowed waters the calm ebbing to my might.

The water trickles down the stagnant flow does move,

The coolness on my skin cleanses and it soothes,

I teeter on the edge indifference leaves my heart,

I know I have to jump, but the fall is oh so far.
So I clamber in the dark for I know what I must do,

the shadows were my freinds the darkness was my hope,

so the universe stepped in, a star upon their sleeve,

this cave it was my home but this darkness I must leave.

I never had a reason, a reason I didn’t need,

but now I have a purpose, for I once again believe.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

Let me…

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Let me love you the only way I know how,
With one foot among the flames of hell.
My halo hanging from the door as Satan bangs down upon the floor.

Let me cherish your being the only way I’ve sought,
In whispered tones of unsaid thoughts.
In the endless space of empty words,
And the blank spaces that go unheard.

Let me adore the softness of your inner soul,
With shy blushes and a rising tide of a love I know.
With gentle thoughts and the slightest touch,
As the devil screams this is all too much.

Let me desire the very all of your being,
In broken sleep and heated dreaming
As need escapes, transforms the room,
and I beg and plead, take me soon.

Let me relish in our touch the only way I could,
With devil kisses in those places I never should.
In a trail of unforgiven memories across your skin,
Tainted now by our enchanted sin.

Let me devote myself to your spirit, with empty vows of love,
And let us hope this alone is enough.
My succubus soul and hearted sleeve,
And let these be the mortal sins of life we weave.

Karen Hayward ©2016. (Image and words)

Rose quartz of my existence.

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Were you the rose quartz of my existence

radiating the heart aura of pure spirituality,

were you love?  Were you the silent whisper

behind my wings as I spread them and

flew into unchartered territories?

Hush, listen now,

I hear no angelic melody for I am alone at the

verge of forever.

Were you the essence of all that is pure

the transcendence of celestial energy

caressing my soul aeons through space and time?

Rhetorical ponderings.

Life is in the now, here within these shells,

the evolution of existence is reliant

upon us living, eternity is beyond our

scope and need not be considered.

Were you love?

Did you cocoon me from the haunting

callous reality of fantasies weakened

by a misplaced immunity and reluctance to grow,

the scars that weave through my beating heart say no.

Yet still I feel the residue of your essence as you step back,

and back,

and back,

I wonder do you see the cliff edge beneath

your running feet and when you fall,

will I reach out my blood soaked hands to catch you.

Lost souls touching in the darkness,

igniting ancient memories and as our last breath

leaves our body we shall recount these seconds

in the endless time of universal law,

feeling the scent of mortality upon our translucent skin,

tasting the epiphany of lust as we swim through

the countless faces of our past,

our future,

and we shall watch in trepid horror our impact

upon these innocent atoms and perhaps

we shall discover eternity is not ours to dream off

for we are the fallen,

the dark realms of nothing whisper our names

across constellations of the  long forgotten

fields of life scattered across time,

and there beyond the edge we shall

rot for days far beyond eternity.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016 (Image and words)

Home…

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Beneath illuminated skies

waning moon and starless blues,

I ponder of home. The blessed place

that humanity yearns for.

The end to a search when all

walls have your name scrawled

across them in invisible ink written

before your first breath was even taken.

And I wonder where my walls are?

Is home a place?

Or are my four walls an endless sky,

a turquoise ocean,

two arms holding me.

Is home a place or a person?

Never to this day have I have known of home,

no safe haven,

no comfort zone that was mine,

no four walls with my name scribbled

upon them in permanent ink.

I wonder if ‘home’ is a dream.

Karen Hayward ©2016 (Images and words)

To miss…

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To miss what has never kissed my skin within this life time,

yet to know the depth of your touch within slumber,

the warmth of arms wrapped around my soul,

of fingers wandering in careless wonder,

exploring ancient maps of universal divinity.

A thousand lifetimes, still I can recall

hinted warmth of your lips

as you glide across the nape of my neck

fingers stroking, tongue tasting desire.

The warmth of your body beneath my hands,

burning lust fueling need

The world dissipates, a silent implosion

of butterfly wings bursts through me.

And all I see is you.

I am consumed with passion.

All I hear is your voice

I ensnared by desire.

All I touch is you I am cocooned within love

all I feel is love,

all I feel is love as our bodies entwine,

desire merging,

need  converging.

To be lost and found in a single heartbeat

held close within the arms of love

a tamed temptress my spirit has yearned

for your touch,

my soul has yearned for your arms

my skin pleads for your kisses

and my desire yearns for your essence.

Oh to be lost and found in the

single beating of a heart

through the whispered call of the universe,

heard only by us as love consumes,

felt only by us as desire ignites,

known only by us as passion becomes,

the unity of lost souls and ancient whispers as love becomes one.

Karen Hayward ©2016

 

 

Indifference, the outer shell of rebellion.

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Indifference brought on by misadventure

snakes it’s way across my skin

taking root within my mind.

A rebellious soul would kick back.

An indigo child would perhaps simultaneously

implode and explode sending

ferocious atom’s scuttling to the shadows.

A troubled soul would delve into the pits

of self mutilation of the psyche.

And I am lost swimming in unknown

waters.

The shadows have been my company for too long.

I yearn to blossom among the crowds.

I endeavor to be adored, to reach for stars

to dance beneath twilight skies,

to waltz through the clumsiness of adventure.

I do not want to hide within the darkness

I want to shine among the illuminated skies.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016 (Image and words)