The matrix of paper cut souls

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I wonder if we listen carefully enough

will we hear the distant whir of machinery.

A computerised filing cabinet,

blossoming leaves stained with the ink

of fallen tears.

A matrix of every decision I have made,

every indecision,

every heart break shared in solitude upon that bench.

What pain, fear, self esteem and lack of belief have

those frozen petals collected over the years.

And yet I never came back and told you.

I never told you that I passed those exams

you watched me study for, I never told you

I failed my history A level, I never told you

I failed my Maths…again.

I never came back to say I had sorted it out,

it was fixed, things were better,

I was hurting less. I wonder if these

fallen leaves are the half tales I recall.

If for a moment the thin veil

between worlds were to separate,

would I find here drawn against the

crumbling walls of this ancient castle,

the blueprint of my resistance

paths walked, destinies lost,

fates forgotten.

And who guards my precious data?

For I feel the ancient call tug upon my

soul as I wander close by, a core need

whispering on winters breeze carried

upon frozen dust particles,

calling me home.

But who is it that calls unto my soul?

Karen Hayward ©2016

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blossom666

Welcome to my blog! Here you will find different forms of creative writing, lots of swearing, erotic poetry, random thoughts, beautiful imagery, but most of all you will find a version of truth. My truth, this is the way that I see the world. However, all of my work is a form of creative writing, a combination of truth and fiction. I write to express my creativity, not my needs!

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