If she were to close her eyes tight enough
hush the world.
If she could manage to think just lightly enough,
She can actually feel him.
She can feel a new depth to every word
that spills to the page, they
really do now simply spill. No longer does
she stop and think and edit those sacred
inner thoughts, she hands them over to you
as though they were created
for you, always for you. She’s no longer sure
whether it is a want or a need that has her delve
into darker desires, with each line
she feels you deeper. She can feel now the way your
image climbs through her subconscious
searching for the speckles of light in the dark
and although the darkness entices them both.
You are there dispersing all shadows of doubt.
Whilst the darkness intertwines through the
light the two sides no longer fight. They walk
together, as your fingers explore what you
cannot touch her mind explores what could
not be rushed. She wonders what is one without
the other and which leads and which follows.
Do words of erotic tales lead to
temptation, to the darkness of an empty
void that now has light shimmering in. Or was
it always the hidden swarming feelings
that delivered them to this very page. She used to think
it were one and not the other, but
they both grew alongside, trust in one
created trust in the other, and although
she is not aware at any point of having created
this trust, it is there. It is there in abundance.
With every thought, with every word she can feel
the depth. And she cannot pretend to understand
or even to always accept. But she is intrigued
by the way it spreads through her whilst she stands
open, and she is intrigued by the darkness and
intrigued by the light. She often wonders what
it was that scared her, why she tried so hard to fight when
all she ever need do was close her eyes and know
that this feels incredibly right.
Karen Hayward (copyright 2015)