These people are breeding.

This is a rant not a poem, sorry ’bout that!
The first rant, walking back from line dancing/gossip time with the gals I was stopped by an elderly man, he asked me if I knew where he could sell some tape cassettes. I gently told him it was unlikely he would find anywhere to buy them and he explained to me that he had found a Dab radio in a charity shop, but was short a couple of quid so he had offered them the tapes as part exchange, but they refused. Two pound short. He started crying and said he just wants to be able to listen to music, his home is ever so quiet and he misses sound. Two pound fucking short, they’re meant to be a charity shop, they’re meant to be about helping people. I gave the man my head phones and popped a song on YouTube for him before giving him the two pound. Bless his cottons he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But really two fucking pound, surely they could have knocked two pound off the over charged second hand radio! When we did stop doing stuff to help people so as to line our pockets with money instead?

Second rant. Spread across my Facebook page today are home made video’s of a man standing on a first floor ledge above some shops here in my hometown, on the pavement below are emergency services. Watching are a group of so called adults, filming and slinging abuse. I’ve just read 52 responses to the video and all but one are offensive. The dumbest one I read was ‘He’s asking for a cheeseburger. That’s not mental illness, he’s just a cunt.’ Cos, yeah they use the cheese burger question when they are evaluating at the doctors, ‘hey, how are you today, let me ask you a question, are you partial to a cheese burger? You are, great news it’s not mental illness, that’s another bed I’ve saved at Peterbruff. The most illogical one I have read is, ‘they (the ambulances) could be off saving someone.’…hmmmm, the man is stood on a ledge, what he isn’t worthy of being saved?

I feel nothing but shame when I see people respond this way to another human. To think I am actually sharing the same air as these people, worse these people are breeding, these people actually have the fucking vote. When I think that women had to fight so fucking hard to able to vote and these men actually have it by default. These are the very same people that are screaming from their arm chairs not to let the refuge’s into our country, because obviously every single one that the UK allows in are actually going to be coming right here to my little town. Their argument? Look after your own…isn’t that man on the ledge one of our own by their very own definition? Humanity is shot to pieces we’ve lost our ability to be empathic towards other humans. These people don’t need to be standing and staring they are there out of their own desire to see someone worse off than them, they are feeding on the circumstances of this man. The worse thing is they don’t know why he is up there, they’re just passing judgement, anything to make themselves feel better. Clearly they have very blessed lives and are enjoying flaunting this. These people are human trolls and that guy on the ledge can’t just ignore them and they’ll go away. At what point will people stop and see that learnt negative behaviour will be our downfall. I wonder how many of those adults will go home and spend the evening talking about the attention seeking cunt that was wasting the emergency services time, and how many children, innocent, pure and loving minds will hear this, and the dreadful lessons they will be learning.

I feel nothing but shame. This is the world I am offering my daughter, my nieces and nephews, children of friends I know and ones I haven’t met yet. We’re leaving them a world that lacks humanity. How the fuck will they survive.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Zadkiel I call upon thee now to give clarity to a final deed, did I turn my back on a soul in need? Is forgiveness the acceptance of even the broken,  no matter how harsh their words spoken? Must I forgive time and time again whilst they sprinkle down hatred that fills me with pain?
Zadkiel, can I forgive, forget and move on? Can I forget the shock in their voice as I questioned their choice? Was I wrong, should I have remained strong? Am I not her protector, is it not my duty to shield her? Was it selfish, did I put her ahead of their needs when they are so desperately in search of the broken seed? Zadkiel, I am lost and in fear, I searched for you but could not see you near. The words flowed with surprising ease as I watched her fall to her knee’s. Her beliefs torn apart, her thoughts questioned she stumbled upon lies a clouded darkness fell upon her eye’s. Chance and chance again, Zadkiel, I gave in and before my eye’s grey scale fell and I saw as I never seen before,
and now her role within, is no more. Zadkiel, I ask for clarity and forgiveness reserved for the strong, is my heart right? Did I do no wrong?

Karen Hayward © 2015.

What is forgiveness.

What is forgiveness? I’ve spoke those words a thousand times over and still I search for peace. I’ve forgiven your knowing spiteful tongue, i’ve forgiven your chosen ignorance. I’ve worked tirelessly to hold together the slipping strings as you have pulled and pulled demanding respect for your title alone. I have shed tears in the darkness on the balance of your belief. I have stood alone day after day because you refuse to accept her. Pride, my pride was swallowed down the moment I became.Standing alone in the darkness with my pride, you have danced holding it up as though a trophy of my defeat, I forgive therefore I am naive, I am weak. I am without bitterness, I am without hate.I am beginning to wonder at what point I should close the gate. You are blinded by your own selfish beliefs. You are blinded by fear. Perhaps, forgiveness is meant for me, I cannot make you see, perhaps this time, forgiveness is meant for me.

Karen Hayward ©2015.

A midday ‘Sales person’ rant.

Sales people….they drive me crazy! Honestly they drive me insane, I get it, I understand it’s their job and they have to get the hits to get the money, but seriously when I say No, I actually mean No. No means No peeps! Oh and that dumb arse stupid thing they do when they say it’s great value, better than what you’re receiving now…hmmm I may have failed my Maths GCSE but I can do the maths, it’s not value if you want more money and I don’t want the service you are selling. I did feel a little bad for the poor lad though, he was clearly trying very hard to stick to his script and I was ripping it to shreds and enjoying it! But seriously, sales people when I say No I mean No, if you carry on reading your script to me I promise I will rip it apart, I promise I will throw back at you everything you are throwing at me and I promise I will do it whilst smiling, Speaking to me is a complete waste of your time, time you could be spending actually getting customers, I make it clear from the word go that I do not want your service…seriously do you think I am  a dumb housewife? Just throw a few words my way and you’ll grab yourself a deal….grrr you drive me crazy!!!!!! Ok rant over.