Written in response to a picture prompt over on g+ you can find the prompt here.
The stark emptiness of a blank canvas unfurling before my eyes. A lush carpet of soft blades of fresh grass tickling my senses as I explore bare foot around the confines of my existence. Will you walk there with me into the unknown? With a touch of my finger I will spread daisies across the horizon, white petals dancing gently in the breeze as yellow faces search for Helios. The aged trees in their wisdom will bend their branches and form for us a bed, softened with moss from the woodland grounds and decorated with delicate star white petals, as the soft scent of Jasmine dances on the summer breeze. Will you lay at my side and let me map the contours of your body with a trail of gentle kisses shimmering in the golden sunlight that caresses our uninhibited bodies? And as I dance freely across this canvas of creation, rose bushes of every colour will bloom beneath the shadows of my foot prints, a floral dance floor for the twilight hours as Selene watches from the heavens and creates a pool of tranquility in which for us to bathe, sprinkled delicately with her crystalised devotion. And what beauty will you bring to my vision? Will you lay your palms upon the earth and create for me peahens and peacocks so I may see the beauty of his train as he calls to his love? Will you tread upon the luscious grass and leave behind a trail of promised dandelion wishes, for me? Will you look to the heavens and request shooting stars to illuminate our skies? Will you look to the clouds and ask for warm rain to fall from the skies so we may dance together beneath the falling droplets? The stark emptiness of a blank canvas unfurling before our eyes.
Karen Hayward ©2016
Today’s word prompt is sacrifice…you can go here to find many, many more prompts.
This word prompt has been bugging me all day. I have a thousand words I could write but each and every letter I place on the page is like handing you a raw slice of my soul. So I thought long and hard about what it is I want to say and this poem was created.
Some people can,
and these will
and they will
May the angels always walk
Karen Hayward ©2016
Hmmm this is an interesting question as it doesn’t specify what type of love. I could tell you about the young girl that was entirely in love with her Dad that she followed him everywhere. Or about my first and only dog, Spade, an old English sheep dog that came too us wrapped up inside my Dad’s coat a tiny bundle of fur that was apparently a heinz 57 (cross breed) and was never going to grow any higher than your knee…this was not true! I could tell you about my first male best friend who I loved so very dearly or, or I could tell you about the first boyfriend that I fell in love with. My biggest concern about talking about first love is that somewhere over the years we romanticize these things, we make the bare ugly truth, beautiful.
Still, here goes. I suspect I was maybe 14 at the time. The very first time I met him was late on a Friday night, I was getting ready to go out to a nightclub (yeah yeah I know I was underage!) when the doorbell went. It was another male friend, I invited them in, I was home alone at the time and we sat in the living room chatting. I was wearing a long black dress and asked if *first love would mind doing it up at the back for me. We flirted innocently. He had long hair that he wore tied back, he was 16 maybe 17 and working at the local amusements. I don’t know what happened next. I think the next day he turned up at my place alone, we chatted and before I knew it he was becoming something to me.
We went out together for about 6 months. We got on very well and very rarely argued. For some reason finding words to describe him is hard, it’s like I have a private stash of them but they are protected. I protect them because the relationship was perfect, and even now we are still friends. I say perfect not because the relationship was all daisies and glitter, but because it was honest. When the day came when we realised we were too young to settle we were honest and we cut each other free. Not the easiest thing to do and over the first week of our seperation there were a lot of tear and confusion (he would finish work and appear at my door, forgetting we were no longer together. But it’s that honesty that has always stayed with me.
Karen Hayward ©2015
Are there not a thousand things each day that we in some way miss? I miss the warmth of home. I miss going out drinking, stumbling home and sitting chatting whilst perching on the corner of that brown cord fold up chair! I miss being young and so very full of energy. I miss mountain dew, it never really picked up over here in the UK. I miss lay in’s. I miss the freedom of being able to sleep until my soul felt healed. I miss werther originals and the moments that came with them and cherry kisses. I miss the summer, already! I miss the snow that the clouds above the UK forget to spill each year.
But right now, I miss the relaxation, the calm of mind and the unsaid knowledge. I miss the soothing way thoughts could transport me, I miss my thoughts being clear and concise. I miss not wearing the mask.
Right now I miss the liberation of being able to spill words onto the page without this mental block that seems to be constantly screaming at me.
I miss the exclusive knowledge of shared thoughts that are now being spilled across the universe.
I miss having that knowledge of knowing how to speak to you.
I miss the beach…I only live a ten minute walk from the beach, i’m just being dramatic! I miss the beach on a warm day with the sun sweeping across my back and the grains of sand searching my feet. I miss the golden star dust that sprinkles itself across the ocean. I miss the soft hush of the ebbing tide as it licks at the shore.
I miss the stars as the sky becomes light and they disappear from view. I miss the moon and her luminous glow. I miss the emptiness of a clear, dark night. Nothing inside of me can ever feel as empty as the universe.
I miss all the thing that make me feel a step closer to myself.
Karen Hayward © 2015.
- Search for my broken headphones, only one ear works which is perfect as my daughter talks to me constant and its important that she always knows i can hear her.
- The girls are happy, I have the next lot of jobs to crack on with but i decide to pause and watch a video someone has shared with me. I get a couple of minutes in and the girls want to go into the garden. I agree to have a coffee break then get out of my pjs to take them in the garden. My daughters anxiety means she wont go out there alone.
- I stop for a giggle with my daughters besty, she is a sweety, we make up songs about cheeky smiles, and rhyme words, she is great.
- I don’t get a quite coffee. In fact it went cold again. I give up and drink a glass of water.
- I realise I should probably brush my hair! Ha ha!
- Gave up on the video for now and decided to listen to a couple of songs on youtube, that was ten minutes ago, still haven’t heard a whole song though.
- Still thinking about ‘fit for purpose.’
- 2:24 pm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY I love this song.
- Am hugely aware at this point that I have the least exciting life ever. In fact I think bullet proving your entire day is bat shit crazy!!
- Okay took girls into the garden, we all went down the stairs on our bums 🙂 can’t lie that was fun!
- Once out there I decided to sort the fall fence panels and stuff that had been blown about in recent storms. I managed a couple of panels before the girls realised I had been right and it really was very cold and very windy outside. So we all went back in doors again!
- The girls are now playing. So housework again! How the hell do 2 adults and one child make so much washing up? I ask myself this question daily. In fact a few times now I have considered hiding all but one each of everything, that will teach people to reuse and wipe up themselves!! Ha ha who am I kidding, just means i’ll be given cups of tea in a cup that is an inch deep in grime…yeah hubby i ain’t silly, i know you don’t use a clean cup!
- Listening to some Green day, it’s a Green day kinda day.
- It’s only just after 3 in the afternoon and already darkness is falling on us. The lights are being switched and switched off again in that awkward well, the light don’t help kind of way. The wind is really picking up and beginning to howl through the tree’s and slam into the windows.
- 3:30 pm am feeling tired now. I want to go sleep. In fact I want someone to come make me food and then I can go sleep 🙂
- 3:38 pm Hubby has awoken and agrred to give me a few minutes to finish writing a poem, with head phones on and music up loud. This for me, means cutting the world out completely so I can hear the words :). Best get writing then!
- I managed to 3:45 pm the poem I wrote was good, im happy but it needs more work.
- I grab dinner out the freezer and stick in on then do my third washing up load and grab the washing from the machine and stick another load on. I need a pinny to wear so I can truly fit into this marvellous role of housewife!
- Dinner is cooking, the girls are playing I work a little more on the poem. Whilst stopping to sweep the floor and change the cat litters.
- The besty has to go home now 5:00pm so I help her to gather her stuff together and get her boots on. I want to steal her pink furry monster style hat.
- We do the stairs on our bums again and I think about how wonderful children are.
- Dinner is served and I clean the table down.
- We all sit at the table, it’s nice.
- Hubby and daughter watch Man of Steel so I can have time to myself. I do the online food shop and spend a few moments finally watching the videos shared to me, i’m glad I watched them :).
- Spend some time thinking.
- Decide I need to speak to a friend, so ask him for advise.
- wash up, again!!
- Tidy away ems toys. It’s now 7:36pm. i’m tired, tiredness is kicking in, I keep resting my head on my hands and closing my eyes for just a second. I can’t sleep yet.
- I still need to put the girl to bed, then we have her routine then story time, then snuggle time.
- I still have to tidy up the living room, iron clothes and put them away, tidy her room, and clean a a couple of other rooms.
- I want to be sat in a room reading.
- I want to be exploring the suggestion.
- I want to be listening to music.
- Daughter will settle around 10-10:30pm by which point I will be exhasuted, but finally able to sit down and know i wont be distrubed. Hubby is working again tonight.
- Once as daughter is sleeping I will try to grab a few minutes to myself.
- This post idea is shit.
- I hate seeing how non stop I am!!
- I need to read the book I got on mindfulness!
- I need a hot drink.
- Think I need to get a life!!
- Am starting line dancing in a few weeks 🙂 ha ha
ok writing this post as sent me a little crazy, I need to do something. That was a really pants kinda post, I know already what a bullet point of my day is like lol but I can see how it made me think a little deeper about my surroundings, so maybe a good thing 🙂
Favorite movies that I never get tired of watching. This is another tough question and to answer this I will need to look to the past. I actually watch very little TV and movies. Before my daughter I wasn’t too bad, but now there are a thousand different things I could be doing.
The first movie that comes to mind is Minority Report with Tom Cruise. There is something exciting about the concept behind this movie and I think on some level the idea of knowing who the bad people are before the crime, gives me hope for a better future. I’ve watched this film so many times now that I pretty much know it word for word and scene for scene :).
Next up is Fifth Element 🙂
then we have…
this is actually my favorite film of all time, I think, i mean I might choose differently tomorrow! This in my opinion is the best love story, of course it was also the story that showed me that love has no happy ending, but it was beautiful and showed me that even a few moments of love is better than nothing.
Constantine. This is a film that fed into my own fears and curiosities. I also think this film first introduced me to the concept of angels walking among us (perhaps not in the form that society suggests an Angel to be).
Grown ups!! This movie has me laughing so much!
Okay, i’ going to share some now without the links. Police Academy, all of them, these films shoot me straight into the past whenever I watch them. I love them as much today as I did when I first watched them. Forever Young, anyone remember this? Mel Gibson, sigh, another love story I was young and impressionable and It was one of only a few videos we owned when I was a teenager and skipping school whilst my dad was at University ha ha!! The Crow, I almost forgot The Crow!
My husband says that I have very repetitive behaviour, according to him I watch/ listen to the same things over and over. He might be right on this one!!
Karen Hayward ©2015