Coldness seeps within the marrow

Coldness seeps in beneath the covers,
like a long forgotten lover.
Stroking my skin
before travelling within.
It pulls me from my vivid dreams
Lost now what those images mean.
As the cold whispers closely in my ear
declarations of love promises only I hear.

Karen Hayward ©2015.

Poorly gal. 

My dearest love, my gal, 

As you lay sleeping your body healing i sit beneath a twilight sky pondering the mechanics of life. I swallow strong sweet tea with trepidation, the scent of poorlyness still hangs in the air and i give myself a fifty fifty chance of keeping the tea down or following you into the fields of stomach flu. I pray to any God that is listening making promises of devotion if they only promise I won’t be sick. I search the empty sky for a moon, but find nothing, i search for the stars that say i am not alone but i find nothing.. I shiver by the open window that is keeping you cool, keeping you sleeping, i reach for my scarf and give thanks to any God who hears me. 

Xxx

KH*©2017

…And when you slept I wandered the empty alleys…

peterpangosh

When she slept,

lime scented gas

filling her lungs,

I wandered the

corridors. White

wash walls. Faces,

faces…

Always someone.

When she slept,

Late Into the night,

Lights out…Silence.

So much silence.

I wandered the empty

corridors. Alone.

So very alone.

I saw  silence,

I heard empty spaces,

I felt sweet British tea,

I tasted….

Love and pain,

Hope and fear

Relief and confusion.

I bid good evening

To the security guard

A big man who wore

His soul in his smile.

I wandered out into

Dark streets and

Darker alleys

Where tears fell

With the ease of

Breathing.
And I breathed

And I breathed

And I breathed.
A lost alley,

Seeped in darkness

At the foot of medicines

Glory,  I ponder for

A moment, Wendy’s

Window and peters

Story.
Did Barrie know?

Where do the souls

Of young and lost go?

Peter’s statue stands

Proud at the doors…

I wandered up

And down the empty

Floors.
Karen Hayward ©2017

For those that do not know, J.M.Barrie gave the rights of PeterPan to Great Ormand Street Hospital  (GOSH), many many many years ago. There is a statue of Peter at the front entrance, guarding the children. ♥

I wish I had of known you.

Dedicated to all of the friends I have made along the way, the parents/grandparents and relatives and sometime’s just simply the people who get it!

I wish I had known you when

the health visitor asked

‘Is that all she can say?’

I wish I had known you that day

full of doom and gloom,

the first time sitting in the

children’s outpatient waiting room.

I wish I had known you

the first day it became inappropriate

for her to cry and freeze

in the super market, all eyes on me.

On the outside I was a rock

on the inside pink melting candy floss.

I wish I had known you when she was five

and still the stairs she screamed were too high.

I wish I had known you then.

It would have been nice to have had a friend.

I wish I had known you when the first friend

dropped away, communications just came to an end.

I wish I had known you every step of the way,

because had I , I’d have been able to say…

You’re doing just fine,

you’re so very kind,

I’ve a moment to hear

I can always be near.

As you hit each new issue

and reach for a tissue

I would have listened.

I would have stood at your side

been along for the ride.

I wish we would have known each other

back then,

when all of us felt alone and needed a friend.

Karen Hayward ©2015

 

Create a pocket of escapism.

I need a hole in time.
I need to rip open the
vortex of reality and
mold myself a corner.
A creation of fantasy
based on reality that
escapes the daily grind
of realism. A safe haven.
Away from prying eyes,
where I can become lost,
lost in you, lost with you.
I need a crack in the universe
to slip through, a black
hole designed purely for
me. I need a pocket of sand
where I can connect, at
ease, at peace, guilt free.
I want a dark lagoon where
I can explore the darkness
where I can watch and show
and take and be, a little
space for only me, a little
place where we can be.

Karen Hayward ©2105.

Awards-seven things all about me!

angel awardvibaward

 

Ohhhh I have been a very lucky gal just lately and have managed to be nominated for two amazing awards. The first ‘Inspiring us 1 blog at a time, Angel award’ is by the lovely and amazingly energetic blogger Flippyzipflop

http://flippyzipflop.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/awards-much-deserved/#more-1050…..I’m not technoligically minded enough to be certain that this ping back malarky is actually gonna work! I have absolutely Jack shit to do in response to this amazing award, except to say thank you, it is much appreciated, I can choose, if I like to reblog it on, and that is actually my choice. I choose to send this award out to every single blog that I follow here on wordpress. I follow you because in some way you inspire, enlighten or entertain me, you all deserve the award.

My second award (seriously can you tell it’s the school holidays, i’m so far behind, if anyone has a few hours and a couple of pairs of hands they’d like to lend me then please, send them my way!) ‘Very inspiring blogger award.’ is nominated by Jemverse, another amazing blog but with the added advantage of great pictures along side the poetry! Thank you for nominating my blog, hell, thank you for even reading my blog!

http://jemverse.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/inspirational/

 

To qualify for the ‘Very inspiring blogger award.’ I do have to share seven things about myself…..

  1. I don’t like people that lie, pretend, fabricate or recreate the truth. Honesty is a simple act. Ask me anything and i’ll always tell the truth, the key of course is in asking the right questions.
  2. I love, love. There I said it, beneath my tough exterior I am a complete romantic. I love, love stories, love songs, love poems, I love too see love, I love too hear love, but most of all I actually love to give love.
  3. I am a cold blooded person. Completely, even now in the middle of summer i’m in a jumper. Pretty much all year round I am cold, always cold, my fingers, toes, hands, feet, my entire body is cold. Sometimes (last night) even in the summer I take a hot water bottle to bed with me, I crave heat for comfort on the nights when I am just soooo cold.
  4. I do not know a complete line of any of the songs that I sing. I sing them anyway making up the words as I go along. It goes something like this….(i’ll just go and see what my last youtube song was and we’ll take it from there.) bleurgh it was Snow Patrol Run, says it all at the moment, i’ll go choose another, in fact holy fuck why does Youtube feel the need to keep a list of what songs i’ve been listening to! Ok, I don’t even know what this song is called but it is one of those ones that I sing constantly, when i’m out, in, lining up, probably even when i’m sleeping! ‘I dont wanna dance, dance with me baby no more, your a fucking waste of time, ive got a feeling thats fine, a feeling thats fine….repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. You get the idea! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9de6jeOevi8
  5. My dream destination, the one place that my soul actually aches to go to is America. Route 66, not on some stupid tour led by an under paid worker though. I want to go with friends, real friends, a lover maybe too, I don’t know, I just know I want people that I love along side me, people that will see the beauty, the curiousness, the intrigue, the ugly, the unique, the different and the amazing, that I see.
  6. I hate flavoured anything! And oh my goodness I hate it when shops think it is ok to put normal flavoured chocolate next to mint or orange flavoured chocolate, seriously guys that flavour seeps through and completely ruins my chocolate, ruins my day, ruins my life. It is like poison on my tongue. I love dairy milk chocolate, vanilla ice cream, water…basically I like anything that is not flavoured. ohhhh and I hate flavoured, flavoured stuff, you know that horrid fake strawberry flavour they stick into sweets, poison!
  7. I am not afraid. I am not afraid to be different. I am not afraid to stand up alone and defend someone, something, anything that I believe in. I have stood alone for most of my life, I’ve made good friends with my shadow.

The rules.

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Add the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award” logo to your post.
  • Share 7 things about yourself.
  • Nominate 15 bloggers who inspire you.
  • Include the set of rules.
  • Let your nominees know by posting a comment on his/her blog or including a ping back.

 

My 15 nomineees are….going to have to wait, so for now, I am nominating every single blogger that stops to read this post,why? because we all inspire one another in different ways, so we all deserve the award!