…and they were wrong.

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In the dark shadows of existence they say,

such as yourself does not exist.

An urban legend,

a myth of days gone by,

pipe dreams and innocent nativity.

Oh but they were wrong.

In the tainted world of lost hope

I searched in complete belief

faces without features,

bodies without souls,

hearts without love,

‘hopeless’, they declared

my belief, so rarely shared.

Oh but they were wrong…

a singular moment in time

space shared, I saw it

there, right there.

The moment I gazed upon your

eyes, the moment we shared laughter,

I saw the celestial

essence of an angel

looking back and I knew,

they were wrong,

the pure of heart do walk upon

this earth.

xxxx

Karen Hayward

 

The unsung song of angels.

The angels came to me when I was young

innocent still with thoughts un-song.

They told me of a universe,

that fell beneath a mortal curse.

The angels whispered in my ear,

‘What holds them back is another’s fear.’

Those angels came to me each night

told me often, ‘Follow the dark, follow the light.

For no path is wrong no path is right.

Though both of them may be filled with fright.’

I see the angels among our own

not sat up high upon a throne.

They walk this earth as if they’re us,

gliding slowly to avoid the rush.

They show us glimpses of memories gone

and show us right when we’ve gone wrong.

The path in front, the path behind

all of them tangles of our human mind.

 

Karen Hayward 2015 (Copyright)

Wings of the broken.

Straightening her arched back she stretches for the stars all too aware they are not within distance. The moon’s glow shimmering across her pale skin leaving a trail of glitter kisses in its wake. Shaking shoulders white, black and grey tufts of feathers float delicately onto a gentle breeze, the tide of change whistles a melody through the dancing leaves of eternal seasons. A star above twinkles, as great celestrial wings spread open upon her back. Eyes searching the horizon with the depth of an aging soul. She reaches again for the stars that are out of reach, smiling, knowing, she is a fallen angel and needs no one for she will rise to the heavens and dance among the stars an eternal introvert lost in the silence of the universe.
Karen Hayward ©2016

Gabriel, sit with me.

Picture prompt can be found here

Gabriel,

sit with me and listen

to the constant flow of

gentle water. Let it trickle

through

my

soul

cleansing my spirit

in anticipation for my future.

Let it lubricate my mind

opening a portal of perfect

creative communications.

Gabriel, sit with me

let me feel the essence

of your presence in my heart.
Raphael, come to me as I sit

in perfect solitude within the

Aura of your love. Tell me

the hidden wisdom of depth,

pull strands of memory from

my head, broken, unhealed and

raw, sooth them so they are no more.

And as the water trickles deep into

the perfect pool, let your love

spread within my heart.
Metatron, sit briefly

with me in this perfect tranquility.

Share with me your wisdom

and I will share my life.

Not a worthy trade perhaps,

so let us just pause beneath the

shade as your being gives

me the strength of seeing

within in this battleground

of reality.

 

Sit with me here my angels,

hear my pleas.

Heal my soul.

Wintin my scared space of serene

perfection, celestial  atoms

charging the translucent water,

every droplet pure, divine.

Sit with me here my angels,

hear my pleas.

Heal my soul.
Karen Hayward ©2016

Fuck, fuck, fuck…not this time either. 

Fuck, fuck,fuck, fuck, I’ve numbed my existence switching off my mind my only resistance. Now my words are stuck in a constant cycle of rotation and the silence is insistent. Shake me, my emptiness rattles against the iron bars. Is this what bliss is???? Fuck, I cannot see the swaying trees, the fiercely flying buzzing bees. I cannot feel the earths vibration you look at me with fucking elation. Watch me crash watch me burn, by now I should’ve learned. You have the string tightly wound, a little tug, a little pull, you bring me down, where I belong upon the ground. Are you waiting still, for my mighty fall where upon my knees I beg of you to help me please, are you waiting still? Tell me of the silence that you feel in the emptiness of your reality. I’ll pause, I’ll sleep, I’ll pause for my needs, I’ll pause I’ll sleep. I’ll pause for my needs. You reward the crash standing guard as I break, good girl, good girl, you set your sights too high, you were never meant to fly. Be still let me wipe away your fantasies, lay still watch as paint dries, this is your existence. The sky is for others,  the setting sun for another, stop looking at the flowers, stop looking at life….You will eventually snuff out my light, that I know to be your aim, for me to be like you incapable of shame. You want the light that burns inside, you’ve begged so many times as youve tried to tear it from my soul, so many times you have come close, so many times I have looked darkness in the face and questioned my reality. And so many times the devil himself has whispered back ‘Do not give it up. Do not give it up.’ You believe you are fighting angels, stealing the last light of goodness from a soul certain of heavens gates, but you are wrong, you fight the devil and he will not give up my light without an explosive war. So please, pull me to my knees and wait for me to beg for your assistance, flames ignite my light with my every resistance. I’ll pause and I’ll sleep. I’ll pause for my needs. I’ll pause and I’ll sleep. I’ll pause for my needs. 
Karen Hayward ©2016

Image from Pinterest.

With the devil at her side.

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Digress beyond all reason pick apart my words, the devil knows your name he listens and he’s heard. With venom in his horns and poison on his tongue it angers him to see you hurt his fallen one. He wonders why you hate, he wonders why you sneer, he wonders why it is his angel keeps you near. He gives to her a pen to write away her woes,  a smooth and empty page a place for her to show. He gives to her the heavens and skies upon the earth and fills her waking moments with an eternal mirth. And still the devil wonders why she cannot see her worth.  With angels at her feet and halos in the skies, he gives himself to her to teach her how to fly. But she will not leave the branch she will not trust the fall, brick upon brick she builds another wall. And deep with in her mind she wanders in a haze around the constant walls that create her chaotic maze. He knows she will not fall, for the devil knows it all. He ponders on his quest and searches through the mess. He has to find the answers, what keeps her rooted there, he searches through the darkness to find what she won’t share. And down upon his knees, crimson tears roll across his cheek, for the root that he has found it runs so very deep. He pulls and he tugs and carves it with his knife, pleading with her please break free from this life. For the devil knows your name, he hangs his head in shame spitting venom in your tea in the hope that you will see and set his fallen angel free. But the devil has a nose, there isn’t a scent he doesn’t know. He smells the fear in your blood the indifference in your sperm the spite on your spit, and suddenly it all fits. So the devil in his wisdom, as wise as he can be, conversed with the angels and made a plan to set her free. As darkness falls he whispers in her ear, as twilight is he pulls her from her sleep, as day begins his angels weep for the shame that hides for the shame she keeps.
But the devil takes her hand and pulls her too her feet, with the devil at her side she will never be beat. With the devil at her side, with the devil at her back, she’ll walk through nettled paths and stumble upon rocks, but with the devil at her back, she will find her beaten track.

Karen Hayward ©2016

My assistance has a price.

Cold wall at my back.
The ticking clock the
taunting clock,
beckoning the hour
of darkness.
You wait to piece
together my
broken
Self in the
arms of indifference.
You have needs
that must be
attended to,
your time so very
precious,
you must alleviate the
stress of idleness
with brown glass
and
pretence.
A job
for
A job and I
will no longer
work alone. The devil
wants my soul.
Darkness calls.
Time continues to
move. My mind has
slowed. My muscles hurt.
My body tired.
Raphael shroud me
beneath your wings,
for I will not sell my soul.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Word prompt, flourish.

Word prompt flourish

 

Upon bloodied knees my tattered wings turn to embers as Angels surround me.

I see the blue skies of heaven through a kaleidoscope of abandonment as

white halo’s taunt my fallen disgrace. Whispering songs of foreign concepts

faces looming above me. I shall not cry. I shall not shed a tear for my loss.

Aggressive stubbornness burns inside my soul I search the cold concrete for strength

among the blinding light. It never comes. Suns rise and fall, moons phase and tides ebb

and the Angels tire of me. I rise to stand watching as the Angels leave on the golden rays

of a rainbows edge as the skies light radiates upon me.The tainted dirt of the past shaken

from my body my eyes squint into the future. Out of the corner of my bleeding eyes

I see the yellow hue of Jophiel his hand upon my shoulder as Raphael leads my way.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

Hear only the whispers of the angels.

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Word prompt today is…..underestimate. You can find lots more prompts just like this one here.  So, I don’t like the word ‘underestimate’, it is such a negative word and conjours such negative emotions…especially from me as I’ve spent my entire life being the only one to tell myself that I can achieve it lol  So this poem is based on observations and reflections and reality as well as realisation. I used the acrostic poetic form for this one 🙂

 

Undo the doubts whispered on empty

Nights beneath a shroud of broken dreams.

Dry away those falling tears from

Eyes that see so true.

Relinquish thoughts uttered by another’s tongue

Erase them from existence.

Sooth your starving soul,

Take heed and rest your weary mind.

Illumination will find you.

Metatron whispers encouragement from above,

Align now and take stand, your strength has returned

Tattered no longer are your wings

Evolve my beauty, become your destiny.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016