Matrix of silent reality.


From the empty silence I steal away the depths of reality and wrap them in white cotton to bury deep beneath the freezing ground. The echo of existence whispering to me the secrets of humanity and in this silence I know the answers are to be found. Solid ice thaws to the trending escapism of a pixelated Neverland unbound by the rules of society. We are whatever we say we are until the cloak falls and the darkness seeps away and no longer are we hidden by our reality. The beauty of the chaos theory fluttering the wings of now pulling at the threads of fate. The matrix code becomes intertwined and woven between the souls of the dead that believe they are the living whilst the puppeteer engineers every connection that we make. I ponder who are the wise when we are the empty spirits of an old mans philosophy. Haunting beliefs that follow us through the streets of serenity. If autonomy is the devils whisper then I choose you without reproach, i’ll lead you into temptation and wear my heart as though a broach. But reality is a fallacy a facade of broken dreams and in the silence I will find what reality means.


Karen Hayward 2016

Awards-seven things all about me!

angel awardvibaward


Ohhhh I have been a very lucky gal just lately and have managed to be nominated for two amazing awards. The first ‘Inspiring us 1 blog at a time, Angel award’ is by the lovely and amazingly energetic blogger Flippyzipflop…..I’m not technoligically minded enough to be certain that this ping back malarky is actually gonna work! I have absolutely Jack shit to do in response to this amazing award, except to say thank you, it is much appreciated, I can choose, if I like to reblog it on, and that is actually my choice. I choose to send this award out to every single blog that I follow here on wordpress. I follow you because in some way you inspire, enlighten or entertain me, you all deserve the award.

My second award (seriously can you tell it’s the school holidays, i’m so far behind, if anyone has a few hours and a couple of pairs of hands they’d like to lend me then please, send them my way!) ‘Very inspiring blogger award.’ is nominated by Jemverse, another amazing blog but with the added advantage of great pictures along side the poetry! Thank you for nominating my blog, hell, thank you for even reading my blog!


To qualify for the ‘Very inspiring blogger award.’ I do have to share seven things about myself…..

  1. I don’t like people that lie, pretend, fabricate or recreate the truth. Honesty is a simple act. Ask me anything and i’ll always tell the truth, the key of course is in asking the right questions.
  2. I love, love. There I said it, beneath my tough exterior I am a complete romantic. I love, love stories, love songs, love poems, I love too see love, I love too hear love, but most of all I actually love to give love.
  3. I am a cold blooded person. Completely, even now in the middle of summer i’m in a jumper. Pretty much all year round I am cold, always cold, my fingers, toes, hands, feet, my entire body is cold. Sometimes (last night) even in the summer I take a hot water bottle to bed with me, I crave heat for comfort on the nights when I am just soooo cold.
  4. I do not know a complete line of any of the songs that I sing. I sing them anyway making up the words as I go along. It goes something like this….(i’ll just go and see what my last youtube song was and we’ll take it from there.) bleurgh it was Snow Patrol Run, says it all at the moment, i’ll go choose another, in fact holy fuck why does Youtube feel the need to keep a list of what songs i’ve been listening to! Ok, I don’t even know what this song is called but it is one of those ones that I sing constantly, when i’m out, in, lining up, probably even when i’m sleeping! ‘I dont wanna dance, dance with me baby no more, your a fucking waste of time, ive got a feeling thats fine, a feeling thats fine….repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. You get the idea!
  5. My dream destination, the one place that my soul actually aches to go to is America. Route 66, not on some stupid tour led by an under paid worker though. I want to go with friends, real friends, a lover maybe too, I don’t know, I just know I want people that I love along side me, people that will see the beauty, the curiousness, the intrigue, the ugly, the unique, the different and the amazing, that I see.
  6. I hate flavoured anything! And oh my goodness I hate it when shops think it is ok to put normal flavoured chocolate next to mint or orange flavoured chocolate, seriously guys that flavour seeps through and completely ruins my chocolate, ruins my day, ruins my life. It is like poison on my tongue. I love dairy milk chocolate, vanilla ice cream, water…basically I like anything that is not flavoured. ohhhh and I hate flavoured, flavoured stuff, you know that horrid fake strawberry flavour they stick into sweets, poison!
  7. I am not afraid. I am not afraid to be different. I am not afraid to stand up alone and defend someone, something, anything that I believe in. I have stood alone for most of my life, I’ve made good friends with my shadow.

The rules.

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Add the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award” logo to your post.
  • Share 7 things about yourself.
  • Nominate 15 bloggers who inspire you.
  • Include the set of rules.
  • Let your nominees know by posting a comment on his/her blog or including a ping back.


My 15 nomineees are….going to have to wait, so for now, I am nominating every single blogger that stops to read this post,why? because we all inspire one another in different ways, so we all deserve the award!

If time stood still

If time stood still, momentarily, I would find you and ask you all the things i want to know. I would tear open your brain and feed on the information, breathing in the finest details that have never passed your lips. I would know your inner thoughts, your deepest darkest secrets, I wouldn’t be left to wonder, I wouldn’t second guess what happened.

I would pin you down and climb on top, holding your arms to the ground I would stare into your soul and search for the answers I want. You would be defenceless,  you would be mine. All the words you never say, all the feelings that spread throughout but you push away, I would know everything.

I would softly kiss your tender lips, releasing the grip on your arms, as you would spin me to the floor, pinning me down with curious passion, Your body pressed between my legs, you would stare deep into my eyes, through into my soul and steal away the answers you long to know.

And when our moment was over we would know, to fight, or to fly, to stay or to go, we would know what we fear to ask, we would know if we have created a false identity, we would know who each others souls truly belong to….if time would just stand still, I could get the answers I want. x