A wooden town lost in despair.

(Jaywick).

Fucked up and busted,

burnt out or rusted. Broken

glass and shattered dreams

of a fantasy held, but never seen.

Lost souls in a town of death

blood, sweat and the eternal meth.

wooden homes burnt and gone,

a hidden place so filled with wrong.

Drugs and hate with cider shots,

this is the place that love forgot.

Fucked up and broken

the devil himself has spoken,

he rules the town of deep despair,

and

nobody

cares.

The wooden town that time forgot,

there’s one road in, and it’s full of rot.

Broken souls and spirits high,

as someone, somewhere, begins to fly.

He takes from their soul

a bit at a time,

feeds them back life,

built upon crime.

A fantasy once, held by mans dream,

to recreate life an image he’d seen.

Memories of old in the wood that he sold,

to have and have be

the stories to keep…

a holiday for life, a home where you’d sleep,

but the devil did see the dream

that would be,

with its one road in that

led to the sea.

And the universe screamed,

and the universe saw,

the dream that was built right there at the shore.

She sprinkled down sand,

and skies of deep blue,

and added souls with hearts

that were true.

She shot out the stars

that covered the sky,

these were the light

that lit up the dark.

And the devil despaired

and the devil does fight,

he’ll do what he can to banish this light.

Shattered glass and splintered dreams,

lost souls fraying at the very seams.

There’s those that see, the dark and the lost,

the eternal damned, societies lost,

and those that know

of one mans dream,

never made but always seen.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

Screams of the savaged soul.

I really shouldn’t wonder,

and I really shouldn’t care,

your voice comes to me like thunder,

and I know that you are there.

I try to keep you locked away,

to keep you out of sight

but, my dear, you will not stay,

you beg me for the light.

I whisper, as the night does come,

and beg of you to hear,

the moon, i say, is now your sun,

come here, and hold me near.

But alas you cannot stay

in this dark and empty life

as you cut all that’s in your way

with your double bladed knife.

The silence is too loud,

the shadows are too dark,

stand tall and make us proud,

it’s time to play your part..

And I do not know their faces,

or the words that they do shout,

I’ve seen them several places

but, what are they about?

They offer me salvation

from the darkness in the night,

an end to the devastation,

and the promise of the light.

Karen Hayward (Copyright) 2015.

No longer you or me or anyone I know.

You walked away, that day,

no words for what you had to say,

I loved you, but you tore us apart,

that hot summers day,

that you shattered my heart.

I shed a tear, just one,

vowed to live my life, engulfed in fun,

I slipped between the cracks,

Hit the ground hard, then looked up

got my life back on track.

Sixteen years come and went,

your love had left a forever dent.

Then, I looked into the eyes of the past,

blinked and blinked again,

my soul thumping to the tune of at last.

But nothing had changed,

and perhaps that was strange.

You were the love of my life,

but now, today,

that love was longer right.

A crossroad of destruction.

I’ve not a single idea,
Of what comes next.
No detailed plan,
Or future dream,
I have nothing
It seems.
Two paths ahead,
Both waiting for me to walk them,
One filled with destruction, likely fuelled by vodka,
No strings and hapless misgivings.
The other is simple, and I am the prize, If I walk the path I will surely rise.
I don’t know who I am,
or what in this world I can become,
I never dreamt I could become someone.
I choose this path,
I don’t know where it leads,
But I know that it’s
What I need.
I might fail it,
I might nail it.
But, for the first time in my life,
I’d like to try.

Soft silk web net of deciet.

Lost words of truths unsaid,
how long till you climb upon
Another’s bed,
You’re out of your depth,
Drowning in a sea of tears once wept.
I’ve grasped the tips of your soul,
So many times,
And yet here we are again,
You continue with your crimes.
I give you everything, more,
still you look upon another’s shore.
The ebbing tide is changing,
So aware of your continuous exchanging.
You’re caught in a net of despair,
Between hope and dare.
The soft silk web,
Tightening around your neck,
Pulling you into another place,
Where
you
think
you
leave
no
trace.

© Karen A Hayward.

Dear universe, really? freeweite of random thoughts.

So it’s been an odd couple of days, you know, so yesterday i got half way through the day looked up and thought really universe, really! So firstly a friend did a vanishing act, poooof, entire profile gone, including the youtube songs that i love! Anyway, instinct said, nout to worry about, so left them to find their way back. Because sometimes, that is exactly what needs to happen. Popped onto facebook to answer some rather random questions from the mum, looked down at my messages and thought, wow, got myself another facebook user….it still surprises me how often people block me on facebook, it’s a little like they don’t like what I have to say, now admittedly in the past it has tended to be fellow students, (yesterdays block was not a student, but rather someone that is proving nothing by blocking…or perhaps proving everything.) Anyway, you know what bugs me? serial blockers, and the ‘bye’ i’m leaving facebook peeps, really? Ok then go, don’t make a show!..Anyhoot, what to do,what to do, what to do, you see, this isn’t the first time, i got blocked whenever i refuse to walk on the egg shells he has kindly put out for me, and within a few days he is usually back, pretending it didn’t happen…but i’m thinking, enough, i may just block them back this time, life just aint a game, i proper hate game players!…Anyway the day actually got worse (or better, mum, if you ever read this i mean better), turns out the odd random questions were for a reason, my mother is thinking of visiting at the weekend…gonna be plenty of you thinking, well that’s a good thing, and it is, but i see her once a year, May, May a month and a half ago, its not been a year, so why the visit, at first i thought oh yeah the new dog, she wants it to play in the sea, then i thought, well hold on, i aint great at geography, but you live a hundred miles away, i am pretty sure you have beaches closer too you….grrrr, so why the fuss? Why does this idea of a visit from mummy bother me? Well….perhaps another day, i gotta clean this place from top to bottom, change my entire appearance, prepare a five year plan and fill the freezer with a months worth of wholesome home cooked dinners….and even then it won’t be good enough. Still, it has me in a tissle, she’s my mum, and she wants to see me, and of course this makes me happy……seriously, dear universe of ours, why do some people hold the power to get us in a tissle? Answers on a post card, peeps!!?
xxxx
Anyway i gotta go eat some space invaders…and choccie buttons …mixed together and make the most of being home alone :-).