liebster award, big thanks.

award

So, I was just nosing through the spam folder and I found this hiding away in there as though it had no importance in my life. Oh my goodness, how wrong, such a big surprise though. Thank you annoymous !ndian for nominating me for this super fantastic amazing award.

The rules for this very prestigious award are as follows:

1. Display the Liebster Award badge on your blog.

2. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Answer the nominator’s 11 questions.

4. Nominate 11 other new bloggers.

5. Draft 11 new questions for the people nominated by you.

6. Notify your nominees.

So, annoymous !ndian gave me these lovely questions. I’m actually looking forward to answering these, as it’s been a while since i’ve really reached out and interacted on the blog.

1. If you could choose a superpower, what would it be?

Oh Jesus Christ, I want them all. Lets start with Superman, now I love this guy, he can fly, is super strong and always comes swooping in to save the day just in time. I’d love to be able to just fly out of my window and float up there in space amongst the stars. Super strength would also be a great asset, and speed too, oh imagine how fast I could get the housework done, it would be good. As much as Superman is my real life super hero, and I do love my superman pjs, and jumper, seriously the man rocks my boat. But I think I saw on X-men one of the mutants had the power to change super powers, all he had to do was touch them and he took on their super power…power absorption…yeah I want that, I want a little teeny tiny bit of everything. Guys go check out this great page on super hero powers :).

2. Which book/movie character can you relate yourself the most with?

Oh this ones a toughy, i’m not entirely sure that I feel like I can relate to any characters. I think I often read to find escape, escape from me and my world, to explore how life could be or is for other people. However, there is a character in The Color Purple, Alice Walker. Mary Agnes, Squeak

‘Harpo say, I love you, Squeak. He kneel down and try to put his arms round her waist. She stand up. My name Mary Agnes, she say.’

This is the point when Mary Agnes takes control over her own life, she’s just raped and beaten. This simple line shows so much strength, it also shows the importance of a simple name, it is who we are, and who we refuse to be. I do have a thing about my name, it is the name I was given at birth, it is who I am, it is my strength and my power.

3.What inspired you to start blogging?

Nothing. Nothing inspired me to blog. I was completing my English degree and as part of my course I decided on a whim to choose an easier module (creative writing), I needed a rest and wanted to study something less intense and more enjoyable. I wasn’t expecting to be any good at writing. We were advised that we needed to be writing every day, a blog, it was advised, is a good way of doing that. So blindly I set up my blog with no idea of how or why. Like most things in life it soon became apparent what the purpose of my blog should be as I learned to write and explore different modes. Poetry came naturally to me in a way I never could have even have dreamed. It took a good year or so, for me to find my feet and truly start to bloom.

4. What is the most breathtaking sight you have seen?

Ok deep breathe, here I go;

  • my daughter, covered in slime and blood, wrinkled and crying, looking at me, looking at her for the first time,
  • my cat giving birth! seriously that stuff is crazy cool,
  • the moment my daughter and her besty managed to resolve a quarrel between the pair of them for the first time…they’re growing up!
  • I live at the seaside, and a few times a year we have a super massive high tide with waves crashing well over the sea defences. It is an amazing sight to see as this ferocious wave crashes down to earth followed by a seconds echoless silence.
  • Italy, such an amazingly unique creation.
  • A swarm of Dragonflies that kept visiting my garden in the summer last year! To see one is amazing, but too see a swarm of them dancing for you, breathtaking.

5. Books vs Movies? Which one do you think is better? Why?

99% of the time it is books.  The thing I love about books is that so much of the visualisation of the story is based upon your own life experiences. This allows us to connect to the story and truly relate, it gives us release and exploration of our own thoughts.

Sometimes, the film makers get it right though, sometimes. Game of Thrones I think is a great example of a book turned tv programme that has worked, and worked fantastically.

6. How would you describe yourself in one sentence?

I wouldn’t that’s just crazy talk, one sentence? Ain’t gonna happen…but i’ll try.

I’m a good soul with a wildly fierce spirit. 🙂

That wasn’t so hard!

7. What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Another toughy. I guess its gonna have to be, not to judge another person and when and where you can offer support and understanding. I mean who really cares, aint my place to care. If someone is happy then we should celebrate that happiness, not try and tear it down. We could all do with caring a little less about the opinions off others, life is for living, your way. There is no happiness to be found by waking up each morning and hiding behind a mask that you just don’t want to be wearing. People will except you, or not. Those that don’t, most likely have nothing productive they can offer you anyway, so really there is no loss.

8. What’s your favourite colour?

Yellow…like daffodils and daisies. Red…like wild passion and crimson blood. Purple..I actually have no reason for loving purple and yet I find it every where in my life, I suspect purple may be a colour that my soul loves. My favourite colour can change from one moment to the next depending on my mood.

9.  If you could travel anywhere in the world and money was no object, where would you go? Why?

America, route 66. Why? Intrigue I think.

10. Have you ever believed in ghosts?

Yes. As a kid I believed that ghosts were every where, hiding, waiting to scare me. As an adult my beliefs and knowledge have advanced. I don’t not believe in ghosts, but I am forever looking for proof, not ready just yet to blindly believe in something that I cannot see, and I think this is a good thing, I think that when we finally accept something like this, we stop searching and advancing, and instead accept blindly what we are told.

11. If you could live your life in a fictional world (like Panem, Hogwarts etc.) which one would you choose?

Narnia…no, no, no down the rabbit hole….no, no, no Hogwarts. Fuck it i’d be a fictional world hopper, diving between worlds as and when I wanted too!

Oh that was fun!

So who do I nominate….YOU. Yep that’s right, did you stop and read this, yep? Then you is nominated! So show me some love! The questions are as follows;

1. Odd socks? Love them or loathe them? When was the last time you wore odds?

2. It’s late at night and you’re peckish, what naughty food do you crave?

3. What does your dream home look like? (if money were no problem)

4. Elsa or Anna and why? (Frozen)

5. What are your secret reading habits? (I like to read old ladies magazines at the doctors surgery!)

6. What’s the funniest joke you know?

7. What is your fave book and why?

8. When the zombie apocalypse happens, what’s your plans for survival?

9. What is the toughest lesson you have had to learn in life?

10. Real book or e-reader, and why?

11. What are your plans if over night the entire world loses internet connection?

Ha ha have fun guys!

The lonely path.

How i’ve longed to love you so,

for days to pass, to come and go.

How i’ve wished away the stars,

to keep myself upon this path.

Silent words to the universe,

promised wishes and muttered curse.

But never did you see me so,

and now my love, I must go.

The end has come,

for this lonely show.

Karen Hayward (Copyright 2015.)

The roar amongst the brambles.

You cannot follow where I must go,

the days are long, the nights are slow.

Darkness forms inside my head,

even Satan fills with dread.

Heart fuelled by love alone,

weakness gone, my strength has grown.

Feathered wings of dawn and dusk,

the soft scent of eternal musk.

spirit soars for this ride,

take cover, go please, and hide,

for the lions roar inside my mind,

refuses now, to be ever kind.

Karen Hayward (Copyright 2015)

The pink carnation of deprivation.

Violation in relation to this nation

The creation of this non stop station.

The plantation of the pink carnation,

The foundation of flirtation.

As starvation explores mutation

and the rich stand for a standing ovation.

Poverty, the confirmation of life’s cancellation,

Deprivation, the constipation of education

An infestation of menstruation

flooding the streets of transformation.

The acceleration of anticipation,

forget the woes of discrimination

in one quick swipe of ejaculation.

The demoralization of this nation

through telecommunication,

as we become lost in the creation

of the

institutionalisation,

of a long forgotten nation.

A world of dickless runts.

I came upon a time of once,

a world filled with

impossible cunts.

I hid amongst a world of rats,

learned to recognise

the immortal twats.

I had a tip, a way, a trick

that protected me from

the hard up dicks.

I lived by luck

turning my back

and not giving a fuck.

They clawed at me, bit by bit

tearing my skin,

the little shits.

I once came upon a time,

where darkness won,

and life was mine.

I left behind the

haunting swines

I lived this life,

and it was fine.

Remembering who I am.

With so many things happening around me I feel that I am losing a sense of myself. This is the very ‘self’ that I have worked tirelessly to rediscover, and the thought of losing sight of it is devastatingly cruel. I’ve spent days thinking about ways that will allow me to keep my identity in a society that seems so bloody hell bent of stripping me of all originality. I haven’t found the answer. I have discovered that even though I don’t know the words to many songs, and I don’t like bands, forget buying me an album it’ll stay in its little plastic wrapper gathering dust. I love music, I love the lyrics they resonate with me, they remind me of the past, they make me think of the future. Music is part of my soul, a part of me. Today i’m gonna share this song…

I love this song, the beat, the words, the memories. Everything about this song makes my soul sing.

This song reminds me of when I was a teenager, one specific guy, a wanna be biker who thought he was the bees knees.

I was maybe 15 he was 17/18. He had all the charm and a bike to match. A nice bike, a very nice bike all chrome and black he clearly thought he was gods gift as he rode along the country roads. Of course I was fooled by him at first, who wouldn’t be? He turned out to be a typical poser looking for a trophy on the end of his arm. He’d take me out on the bike to bars and show off his gothic girlfriend. I was young and impressionable, but I wasn’t stupid. It didn’t take long for the real him to appear, telling me to dress a certain way, wear my hair, just, like, this. Well we’d been dating a few weeks when he decided to make a pass at a close friend of mine. We had a show down, in a supermarket car park. I thought that was the end of it all. I got drunk with friends, laughed and forgot all about him, Till I got home. There on my couch balling his eyes out to my Dad was this guy. Telling my Dad that I was the love of his life, asking my Dad for my hand in marriage. Crying because mean old me had dumped him. My Dad looked up at me, asked what happened, I told him. I swear I felt the air turn blue and a static charge fill the air as my Dad laughed, and laughed and continued laughing, until finally telling the guy to ‘fuck off outta here you fucking cry baby, you wanna grow yaself a pair balls mate!’ Ha ha ha my Dad rocks!

I hear so many people saying that they wish they could forget the memories of the past, but, the memories are what keep me alive, they remind of who I am and who I am not. They are a key part of my evolution.