Between the grained remnants of adolescence.

img_20171111_221855375989982.jpgI soared to new depths within these magnolia

spewed walls of confinement on brown plastic

chairs that burned liberation from the spirit.

We stared continuously through a blank canvas

of educational institution. Wall upon ceiling

Upon brown carpet squares.

And you were the devil.

Cloaked in Grandmas clothes.

Not my grandmother, but someone’s.

You drew air deep into your double breasted

lungs giving life to your outdated fancies of

corporal punishment.

You taught me only to fear those

words written

those thoughts driven

those ideas fit only for oblivion.

Where hung your creativity?

Lost in the sharp edge of a blunt fringe

cut and cut and cut year upon decade

upon the little girl trapped in the

grained memories of a war fought and survived.

Never a soul shone in your class

no spirits soared, no eyes feversihly

Burned beyond the dull ache of melancholy.

We were there,

but nobody knew where…

but nobody knew where.

You looked at me with the same disdain as others,

hollowed my name through pert lips everytime

you caught me smirking instead of working.

Till that day as rain fell and heat rose,

all around a collective sigh and dramatized yawns.

If ever a vortex existed

It was there, that day,

at the back of the class by the window

where the last rays afternoon of sun teased

goodbye like the ticking clock, freedom

draining its last dregs as words suddenly

sprung into life…

It all started here, her yellowing dress,

the cobwebs that consumed, love so great

pain greater still and tragic love

broken promises and tiny graves,

right here, this was the day.

Karen Hayward ©2017

Image and words

 

Blindness to societies reality. 

How blind must we be 

To believe the choice is free? 

Unity? 

Another woman’s fantasy. 

How blind must we be,

That we cannot comprehend reality? 

Adequate education? Is a fallacy. 

Broken assumptions they’re carefree,

Our hate, is pure insanity. 

Water the root to grow the tree

Teach our girls love isn’t free,

And teach the boys 

there’s no choice to flee. 

How blind must we be? 

To assume the choice makes us free. 
Karen Hayward ©2017 image and word’s.

Write about something for which you feel strongly. 30 day writing challenge.

Okay, something I feel strongly about. Wow this could take a while. I’ve already mentioned along the way a few things that are for me important issues, like, rudeness, it ain’t needed suck it up and say please, thank you or hell just give a knowing glance. I have also mentioned the anger that rises in me when I discover shops displaying flavoured chocolate next to milk chocolate, seriously you are posoining my senses! I love life, I love every aspect of it and there are o many things that I could talk about, things that will create fire inside of me and passion to spill out from my mouth, so for this reason I will give you a mini list.

  1. Socks. Life is too short to wear matching socks and for this reason alone it should become acceptable practice to wear odd socks…with shorts or skirts or even dresses :).
  2. Girl shaming, slut shaming and all the other stupid things I hear in regards to women that actually have an idea in regards to their sexuality is pathetic and needs to stop.
  3. Siestas and naps need to become the norm here in the UK, no really they do, that way I wouldn’t feel so bad when I fall alseep on the couch two mins after I get in from the morning school run, no Jeremy Kyle for me!
  4. The government should provide everyone with a cleaner, a cook and a gardener. Free of charge.
  5. Sanitary goods, tampax, towels all of that, should not be taxed. It is not a luxury to get your period (although in fairness same may consider it to be one) I don’t buy these products out of luxury, I buy them because it is socially unacceptable to go shopping with a huge red patch in my jeans 🙂 Get  a grip on it.

 

Okay i’m going to cut my list short now and switch over to the serious stuff, now guys i’m sorry this is the bit where I show an entirely different side to myself. There are a handful of things I do feel strongly about, serious things, not that odd socks isn’t a serious matter though.

  • Judging others. Firstly let’s define what I mean by judging. As humans it is a part of our nature to find our place within the society that we live. To do this we observe and compare. This is normal. It’s normal even to say to yourself that you are a better person then them, or that your dress is prettier, or your car better, this although not a pretty personality trait I consider normal. What I consider to be not normal, in fact this is something that makes my blood boil everytime and it will cause me to speak up, is when a person stands and judges someone on their misfortune. They stand and stare and comment and judge and simply watch. They don’t say,’hey I can see you need help.’ instead they throw the knives. They don’t say, ‘let me help you.’  they just whisper nastiness as the person struggles on.  Standing their fiddling your thumbs as a person is struggling does not in any way make you a better person.
  • Education, I feel strongly believe that every child deserves the right to an education, I also however strongly believe that the education provided should be taylored to individual children. I think schools and the education board need to open their eye’s and see the reality. A child that is living in poverty does not need to be punished for not doing their reading homework, that child, that family need help, punishing the child is damaging, helping the family is enlightening.
  • Confidence, belief and faith in my opinion are lessons that need teaching in schools, every day of every year. So no more children leave education without a belief in themselves, their body, their self worth or capability.

 

Writing this short, at least in my opinion short piece has shown me once again that I am a chatterbox and I can talk about anything!  I could keep going and going some more, but I have porridge that needs eating :).

 

Karen Hayward © 2015.

A mothers voice in chaos.

♥ For Emily-Rose, always I will be your voice.

 

Dear Teacher,

They tell me to empower you to show you the way

to tell you the things that you really should say.

They tell me to stay calm and use positive words

but surely you know the definition of these terms.

Individuals you say you treat them the same

a contradiction of words your excuses are lame.

But you know best, you learned from a book

and just a few years is all it took.

You’ve seen it before you’ll see it again

these kids to you are simply a pain.

They need this, they need that

and fidget constantly where they are sat.

They’re calm, they’re a whirlwind, a tornado of sorts

and no one really knows what’s in those thoughts.

So hard to reach

so hard to teach,

so listen now to a mothers speech.

Listen to me and you’ll hear her voice

anxiety is not her choice.

She doesn’t choose to with hold

or do exactly what she’s told.

She isn’t all smiles and happy and love

why can’t you see she finds school tough?

Open your eye’s and watch how she flies,

can’t you see how much she tries?

she mimics the world but the clues are there

please, just show her that you actually care.

Do as you tell and look as you see

be the person you want her to be.

Don’t tell her you will, you can and it’s done

her fears are real not a bit of fun.

I know she’s a mouse in a black hole of silence

but the anxiety she feels is an internal violence.

Stop looking past, over and through

show her that she can trust you.

Each day I stand back and watch her walk

knowing she’s spending another day unable to talk.

You’ll utter across her avoiding her eyes,

‘why didn’t tell me? Why?’

Your tone has gone up, your body has moved

gone is the voice all tender and smooth.

She did wrong, she did wrong and doesn’t know why

her tears are swelling she just wants to cry.

But you hold that stare, the one filled with fear

waiting for the answer to suddenly appear.

The answer to what? The why’s and the hows

forgotten by the now’s?

Why am I telling you this

you trained for years to become their Miss.

Why every few months are we here once again

whatever I tell you, it ain’t gonna change.

So I take a deep breath and think of glitter

trying to push back the emotional bitter.

I smile and talk and go through the list

hoping to God there’s nothing I’ve missed.

You’ll nod and agree and say you can see

this is reality, the way it will always be.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015