Coke and wine.

I hear the wine flowing and the glasses chink

as you miss the table and hit the sink.

Mother and daughter addictions together

thrown in the garden whatever the weather.

You talk above the same old songs, and I wonder

if you know that your behavouir is wrong

or that there’s a rat in your kitchen running a mock

it’s a matter of time, tick fucking tock.

As predictable as the sun that moves the dial

smeared face and blood shot eyes is your style.

Mother dearest your spirit is broke

I saw this in your face the moment we spoke.

Fuck this and fuck that ‘cos the world is so screwed

but you never consider that the problem starts with you.

Ten green bottles sitting on the wall

every single night I hear them fall.

A knock at the door and the bed springs go

Daughter dearest, do you think we don’t know?

You sing as it moves to cover the sound

to hide the white powder,  another round?

Your a tight knit unit all full of love

broken souls that are fucked up and stuff.

Excited greetings and laughing galore

filling the glasses who wants more?

Voices go up voices go down

I can actually hear when you’re wearing your frown.

The music begins and everyone sings

till the spiteful tongue brings out its sting.

Tears are falling and the mask no longer fits

true colours shining none of you give a shit.

The lamp is broke, the glasses shattered

not that any that truly mattered.

You scream you push, so much pressure

you lose the very thing you pretend to treasure.

Flashing lights and a friendly face

an easy call for them to trace,

again today, again tomorrow

mother and daughter full of so much sorrow.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015

 

 

 

 

Just rambling thoughts

If you know you can’t ever win, that you can’t compete, that you’re simply not as good as the other person not even close…should you give up? Should one person be stronger than the other, and say no more? Where do we draw the line at the things we may live to regret, and the things we need to leave behind. How do you know. What if your very own principles that you worked so hard to become, are the very thing that hold you back? fate? what if against all odds, you find yourself in this position, should you then consider that perhaps there is a reason for it? and that perhaps giving up would be wrong? How about a leap of faith, believe and it shall be? But what if it is just sheer coincidence, meaningless, well then surely the battle is lost before it has even begun? How do you know which fights you should stick around for, and which ones you should simply leave in the past. Should you rely on your head, that tells you the statistics, the chances of failure, the probabilities of devestation. Or your heart that says fight on, you would not be in this fight if you were not meant to be…..