When ignorance is bliss and the vault is empty. 

I have a vault within my mind with iron bolts and skeleton keys. I place it there; the fear, the words, the knowledge and ignorance, because ignorance is bliss. I tuck away the tumour coated in its beniegn promises and carefully wrap lesions in cotton wool…For there lays the problem., They do and they can…And what happens if they do. I take the accelerated growth and the doctors fear and tuck in in side pocket.Then i close the lid and turn the key and forget, try to forget, i pretend, I pull you in close and pretend that my babies body is without these horrors. Then, someone wants something, phone calls, plans,…I have to open the vault and i don’t want to. Ignorance sure is bliss. 
Karen Hayward © 2017

…And when you slept I wandered the empty alleys…


When she slept,

lime scented gas

filling her lungs,

I wandered the

corridors. White

wash walls. Faces,


Always someone.

When she slept,

Late Into the night,

Lights out…Silence.

So much silence.

I wandered the empty

corridors. Alone.

So very alone.

I saw  silence,

I heard empty spaces,

I felt sweet British tea,

I tasted….

Love and pain,

Hope and fear

Relief and confusion.

I bid good evening

To the security guard

A big man who wore

His soul in his smile.

I wandered out into

Dark streets and

Darker alleys

Where tears fell

With the ease of

And I breathed

And I breathed

And I breathed.
A lost alley,

Seeped in darkness

At the foot of medicines

Glory,  I ponder for

A moment, Wendy’s

Window and peters

Did Barrie know?

Where do the souls

Of young and lost go?

Peter’s statue stands

Proud at the doors…

I wandered up

And down the empty

Karen Hayward ©2017

For those that do not know, J.M.Barrie gave the rights of PeterPan to Great Ormand Street Hospital  (GOSH), many many many years ago. There is a statue of Peter at the front entrance, guarding the children. ♥