The cage.

I wrote this, this morning as I waited for my house to wake up. I like to get up early, I like the silence of the world before the cars interrupt.

My world, is a
dark,
and lonely place.
My life,
is a silent race.
I never saw the
cage fall or
the bricks around me,
that formed a wall.
I never saw the light,
that came from above.
That whispered in the night.
Until one day,
I removed a stone, and
heard the angels say
You are not alone.

My path.

I have a path, all of my own.

Where I can live, and call it home.

I’ve walked along a sandy shore,

and tapped upon a lover’s door.

I’ve watched the waves come crashing in

and spent a day, or two, in sin.

I have a path, that is my own,

where I fight my demons

for my unknown reason’s,

where I can be, and call it home.

 

Dearest Dear

I have this desire, deep down inside of me,

to rip open your soul, and play havoc in your heart.

To tear open your fucking body, and rip apart your chest

and let the crimson blood of life, spill across my naked breast.

I want to ruin you, own you, to destroy you in the crumpled sheets

of a single bed, beneath the incessant rumbles of a thunderous sky.

Why must I always feel like you are waiting to say goodbye?

I want to taste your blood against my tongue, to chain you in a darkened room with no where to run.

I want pleasure and pain,

and multiple orgasms to drive me insane.

The ticking and tocking, of the eternal clock,

Is a fucking cunt and needs to stop.

I wish to end this unforgiving battle, and taste the bitter tincture

that will cease this ebbing flow,

and reunite our defiled and ravaged soul.

I’ll do anything; everything, all that must be,

to have you before me,

on your fucking knees.

 

A moments weakness.

A moments weakness.

As I whisper,
I wish you could hear me,
Be near me.
As I whisper,
Into a dark and desperate world
I am empty, in this great void.
I close my eyes, and dream
Of another world, another time,
Where you are mine.
As I whisper, into the lonely night
I wonder if I will ever catch sight,
Of my dreams in this reality,
Where darkness rules and light
Cowers, frightened in a corner.
As the darkness pulls me under,
The cold snuggling against my bones,
And my heart turns a frosted shade of black,
I wonder if you know, I want you back.

The End.

I’m tired;
tired of the lies, the façade,
the ugly mask you wear.
I’m tired of the egg shells
that dig deep into my soles,
and the words that
rip holes in my soul.
I’m tired.
Tired of the emptiness,
the constant flow of
Negativity,
that slams into me
leaving unseen scars,
leaving me empty.
I’m tired.
So tired.

The past walks with me.

I’m nearly at the top,
There is no time to stop,
You’re the reason I am here
Why I suddenly changed gear.
I saw another life,
one without strife.
I stopped my foolish ways
I wish you could’ve stayed.
To watch me as I grew,
But neither of us knew
The mountains I would reach
or the love i’d learn to teach.
From my past I hide away,
In its arms I cannot stay.

Perhaps the day will come
when i’ll no longer have to run.
Till then i’ll live my life
without drama or strife.
I’ll continue on my path
beneath my veil and scarf.
Hiding our secret with shame
whispering in the darkness your name
hushing my screaming heart
that calls into the dark
for the lover that is gone
for the love that wasn’t wrong.
In my dreams as I sleep,
you are mine to keep.

My soul whispers into the morning dew
for only you to hear,
I love you.

The shopping list.

June sat helplessly in the corner of her living room whilst her daughter Sally cried into a large pile of Junes clothes.  She hadn’t been inside this house for 365 days. She looked around the room with fresh eyes. How she missed it, she thought to herself.

‘You wore these the day before you left.’

Sally said holding up a pair of dark jeans. She didn’t expect a response. But still she said it out loud, hoping something might have changed, somehow. Sally reached into the pockets and retrieved a crumpled piece of paper. A shopping list. Her throat burned as she held back tears. There had been so many tears over the past year.

‘My shopping list. I was going to make lemon squares.’ June whispered into the room.

Sally continued to look at the crumpled list. You never did make the lemon squares, Sally thought. June edged closer to her daughter. She wanted to hold her, to apologise for leaving her. She moved her soft fingers across Sally’s tear soaked cheek. Sally reached up her hand and placed it where her mothers fingers had been.

Sally knew today would be hard. She carefully folded the shopping list and tucked it gently away inside one of her mothers journals. She continued to carefully fold her mothers clothes into bags. Acceptance was the hardest thing. She lay down on the floral sofa and spread out her legs as she had seen her mother do so many times. June crouched on the floor beside her.

‘I can’t stay long Sally. I’m sorry.’ June whispered softly to Sally.

‘I miss you mum.’ said Sally, as if in response.

‘Sally what are you doing.’

Sally turned toward her dad. Tears rolled helplessly down her face.

‘Oh dad, I miss her, I miss her so much.’

June watched as Sally effortlessly hugged her arms tight around her dad.

‘I have to go Sally. I’m sorry.’

June softly kissed the top of Sally’s head and gently squeezed her arm.

June walked out through the front door, tears toppling down her face. They say it gets easier; she thought, that each year you grow stronger. How can it, she thought. She always wondered whilst growing up what hell might feel like, and now she knows. Hell is being dead, whilst the people you love continue to live.