chaos

Breathe in.
Deep.
Deeper.
Take the mornings
fragrance
into your soul.
Own it.
Know it.
It is the scent
of shame.
Never
forget it.

God, God’s
Deities, cosmos,
Angels, Gaia,
Science, Atoms
Spirits, nothing.

Breathe in.
Deep.
Deeper.
Feel the moist air.
Celestial tears
for the fallen.
Own it.
Know it.
It is the tears
of shame,
never
forget it.

God. God’s.
Deities. Cosmos.
Angels. Gaia.
Science. Atoms.
Spirits. . .
Nothing.

Breathe in.
Deep.
Deeper.
Listen. Listen
to your inner guide.
Hear the universe
as she speaks.
Karma has a voice.
The angels speak
in whispers.
God talks through
pray.
The earth screams
through leaves.

Our fallen,
angel wings
leave a trail of
shadows to
heaven’s gate.

God. God’s.
Deities. Cosmos.
Angels. Gaia.
Science. Atoms.
Spirits. . .
Nothing. . .
Stand guard.
Delivering.
Returning evil.
Waiting at the
gates of hell.

There is no glory
In blood
stained hands,
even Satan,
refuses to open
his gates.

Karen Hayward (c) 2017

Image found on pinterest

Rose quartz of my existence.

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Were you the rose quartz of my existence

radiating the heart aura of pure spirituality,

were you love?  Were you the silent whisper

behind my wings as I spread them and

flew into unchartered territories?

Hush, listen now,

I hear no angelic melody for I am alone at the

verge of forever.

Were you the essence of all that is pure

the transcendence of celestial energy

caressing my soul aeons through space and time?

Rhetorical ponderings.

Life is in the now, here within these shells,

the evolution of existence is reliant

upon us living, eternity is beyond our

scope and need not be considered.

Were you love?

Did you cocoon me from the haunting

callous reality of fantasies weakened

by a misplaced immunity and reluctance to grow,

the scars that weave through my beating heart say no.

Yet still I feel the residue of your essence as you step back,

and back,

and back,

I wonder do you see the cliff edge beneath

your running feet and when you fall,

will I reach out my blood soaked hands to catch you.

Lost souls touching in the darkness,

igniting ancient memories and as our last breath

leaves our body we shall recount these seconds

in the endless time of universal law,

feeling the scent of mortality upon our translucent skin,

tasting the epiphany of lust as we swim through

the countless faces of our past,

our future,

and we shall watch in trepid horror our impact

upon these innocent atoms and perhaps

we shall discover eternity is not ours to dream off

for we are the fallen,

the dark realms of nothing whisper our names

across constellations of the  long forgotten

fields of life scattered across time,

and there beyond the edge we shall

rot for days far beyond eternity.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016 (Image and words)

Purgatory

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I don’t want to spend an eternity in purgatory.

I don’t want to look back with my dying breath

and wonder was I ever loved beyond the flesh.

Satan is an iconic creation of freewill, God

iconic of rules, I can abide neither. My conscience

whispers, my intuition screams, my soul ever the

playful creature explores and my spirit rots. I am

too dark for the light, too light for the dark, neither

world will take me. My heart has a weakness, my soul

has a darkness and I am lost in a devils world. The

empty void of existence a heavy burden in which

to carry, the night calls my name in shame and

the day whispers the secret stench of testing times

that I fail, again and again. The tight rope has become a thin

wire stretched out as far as the eye can see no sun reaches it,

no moon touches it, it is purgatory. I am in purgatory for

my sins.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

If you go to hell.

image
If I go to heaven
and you go to hell,
I’ll find a way
to break your spell.
I’ll send down a rope
with a knot at the end,
so you can climb out
Each time it is sent.
I’ll build a door and
leave out a key
beneath a flowerpot
of beautiful daisies.
I’ll keep watch at the window
whilst you climb the rope,
We’ll wash you with water
and Jasmine soap.
I’ll show you the views
from heaven above,
we’ll lay on the clouds
and passionately make love.

Karen Hayward ©2016

List five places you want to visit. 30 day writing challenge.

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I love this question, mainly because it does not specify that these places have to have been scientifically proven to exist!

  1. To the depths of hell…who’s with me? I mean seriously this place of fire and ruin has been written about pretty much since the dawn of time and yet no one has actually been there taken a picture and come back. I feel a little sorry for the guy, constantly judged because he has a crappy landlord that won’t fix the heating!
  2. America, route 66…I really just wanna see behind the scenes of America, are there really eyes in the hills? :). This is actually a true destination I would like to visit. I do like the idea of travelling in areas that have been untouched by modern day society.
  3. The northern lights. We’ve all seen those little glass roofed huts that are constantly being advertised over on facebook right? I would love to lay back covered in blankets and just stare up at those amazing colours.
  4. Camping, I want to go camping so deep in the woods that I can actually close my eyes and pretend that society does not exist. Here in the UK our woods really aren’t all that vast, in fact the woods up the road from me, if you look hard enough through the branches you can see the road the other side…and a couple of druggies along the way!
  5. Lastly, I saw an image of a beach, the sand is covered in sea glass of a million different colours. I would like to go there. I love sea glass and I find it so mesmerising to imagine that this small piece of glass has been crashed against sand, stone and sea debris, has had waves of destruction crash down upon it and it has survived more beautiful than ever.

Karen Hayward (Copyright 2015)

Heaven doesn’t want me and neither does hell.

I don’t believe,
In God,
Or heaven,
Or hell,
Or the devil,
On some level.
I don’t believe
My actions
Will be
Accounted for,
Or that i’ll stand
At a pearly door.
I don’t think,
That the good
Go to heaven, and
The bad, to the
Flaming pits of hell.
I think they have
It wrong, sometimes
The bad are the
Strong, the good the weak,
That the devil does seek.
I’ve broken the rules, and
Refused to repent,
No lightening bolts
Were sent,
i’m good,
And i’m always kind,
But never because i
Have a religious mind.
Sometimes i’m bad,
And it makes me feel glad,
Do i make God mad?
maybe i do, maybe i don’t
but live by his rules,
i wont.