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Today I shall call you petal,
the delicate bloom of beauty
I will tell you, your eyes are
radiant, oceans of love, you
will giggle and say, we have
the same eyes mum and I
will smile. I will not tell you
that the depth in mine is
a lifetimes scars and yours,
your depth of blue is the
skies, innocent and pure.
Today I will call you petal,
my gentle blue blossom
peeling away layers your
heart atomized into
a fragrant love that
disperaes upon the suns
rays. Today I will call you
my petal, my love, my
favourite flower whispering.
into each day with silken
pleats of beauty. Yes,
today my darling gal,
I will call you my petal.

Karen Hayward (c) 2017
Image and words

Peaked beauty.

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A pregnancy memory…

Sometimes from
Out the blue my
female gene ties
me down and
suffocates me
in memory.
Warm water,
silent blue skies,
Just me and you.
My stomach
an oblong mass
of transformation.
Was it your feet?
Or your bum?
Pushing at me.
Every time.
A hate or a love?
Fear or excitement?
Just us and a few
random birds
traversing their day.
You became a peak
Of perfection reaching
from beneath the ocean
of water, Stretching
perhaps. Maybe we
relaxed together.
I still feel the skin
beneath my fingers as
you pushed a perfect
triangle and we
bonded, an unbreakable
tie. . .unbreakable.

Karen Hayward (c)2017
Image and words.

Modern Bedtime Story…

Photo

(Photoprompt)

Do not judge without pause…

Our twilight hours are illuminated by blue screens

and chuckles of delight,

for you see…

my body does not know day nor night.

Atypical regulation is absent

my mind does not close at the dimming of light.

So I ask of you please,

stop and look…at our daily fight.

A pillow for one with two joyous heads

because I don’t like going to bed.

When I close my eyes what happens then?

And are certain our dreams are just pretend?

There’s no song my Mum can happily hum

that doesn’t hurt my ears,

No classic tale she can tell

that will settle down my tears.

I need her here, but, she must not touch,

Oh, I love my Mummy so very much!

Beneath the covers I feel her warmth

she does not move…for that can cause a storm!

I watch a vid and another too

but none of them are ever new!

That would be too scary

far,

far,

far,

too SCARY.

I like to know exactly what comes after

this ensures the echos of my laughter.

It calms the beating of my heart

my tablet, you see, plays an integral part.

I went to bed at seven and now the clock says twelve,

My Mum, she is reading, facts in which she’ll delve.

I know that she is tired I see it in her eyes

and all throughout the night she dreams of starless skies.

I know when time has come, she tells me one, two, three

then pulls the covers up and we cuddle…but just our feet.

And now i’m feeling safe and now I’m feeling tired

and contrary to belief I do not wake feeling wired!

My Mum, she does not hum a song or tell me of a tale

instead, she falls asleep each night, with the world

telling her she failed.

Karen Hayward ©2017

Image used via photoprompt (Maricris Cabrera)

 

 

To my baby girl.

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Baby girl, when you were born and they placed your beautiful soul into my arms I made you, one, single, promise. I didn’t promise you diamonds or wealth, I promised the only thing I could give, love. There would never be a moment in your life when you wondered if I loved you, you would know this at a core soul level. When you was two and the doctors said, you have learning needs, I made you one, single, promise, I would become the voice you needed. I would fight every fear I have to stand toe to toe with authority, I would be your soldier. When you was five and you waltzed into that classroom, I made you just the one, single, promise, that even though you could not see me, I was there, always, wings outspread protecting you. When you were seven and you said, I don’t want to go to school, my heart broke, they had broken you and for a split second I let the world suffocate me, my soul burning in the ashes I was reborn. I screamed louder, I searched harder, I stopped at nothing, I became the dreaded parent that every teacher hates. When you was eight and you said, I like school, I once again began to breathe. This year I’ve seen your anxiety reach new levels, I’ve watched as finally your voice became a whisper, I’ve watched you crumple and bounce back again and one day I will write of when you was nine and everything changed, yet nothing changed for my promises to you, baby girl, they are a lifetimes promise. And so the story begins, when you was nine and you got to spend time with the therapy dog I saw the hinted whisper in your eyes that finally they could hear your inaudible cries. ♥

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

Love.

For Emily-Rose xxxxxxxx

 

They said motherhood would change me,

I said I was unchangeable.

I was wrong.

They were wrong.

You changed me. How could I see darkness

when all I saw in your eyes

was light. How could

I teach you to love

yourself,

until I had learned

to love myself. And so our

journey began in the warm nights laying

together, side by side. Inseparable. You taught

me to be a warrior. I teach you daily that you

are a lioness, braver than anyone. You

taught me to stop and look, to see,

to feel. You taught me that

perfection is so very

attainable,

for all

things

are perfect.

You reminded me

that laughter is

the only

important thing

in life. And love.

Nothing

beats love.

 

Karen Hayward ©2016

Your morning smile, is just for me.

Twitching toes,
as though,
She knows,
The worlds awake,
She has things to make.
Her eyes, flutter and flicker,
Today she’s gonna earn
Another sticker.
A slow creeping smile,
From my loving child,
‘Mum’ she whispers,
Soft and tender, eye’s so full
Of innocence and excitement,
For the day
The play,
The random things we’ll say.
And i hold her, tight.
Tell her she is right,
The world is made of love,
And happy stuff.