Toes skipping across marble floors…

I suffocate in the silent notes
of a forgotten orchestra
as it drowns me in its melodious
song, the ancient whistle of
Pan and his nymphs dancing
to an unheard tune as I lose
Sight of skies of blue.
Dressed in topaz silk skimming
bare knees, purple ribbons
toes skipping on marble floors,
I hear the devil call as he lands
upon my shore…
All air is sucked from my lungs
Life drained from my veins
Tears milked from the shadows
of my heart as the walls tumble,
As the ceilings crumble,
As the chandelier shatters…

… fragmented diamonds,
sparkle in the darkest hours,
Light in life’s void, beauty in
It’s shadows…

I could drown in the
monochrome whispers of
fantasy, lost, suffocating
in my reality…

Karen Hayward ©2018

Image found via google search 

We’ll meet again in an Arcadian dream…

 

pan

We’ll meet again in an Arcadian dream…
one man’s…is another’s nightmare.
Oh Lord give me not this phantasm
spectacle, high on Poppy seed euphoria
where fear is life itself. Utopia becomes
annihilated by my existence where
I dare no motion beyond that of breathing,
stranded within a non-tactile cage,
suffocating within my own
anosmia…bucolic?
No, to a soul such as mine
beauty is found in the falling droplets of rain
on the far edge of thunderous
clouds, among wild flowers and ruling weeds. I
long not for Virgil’s divinity but for the homelands
of Pan and his impromptu essence worn by the
nymphs that walk at his side.
My horizon is cursed were it blessed
by a white Knight drawing to stand by me,
for is knowledge not wisdom?
Was it not always known?
Arcadia, home land to Pan, rustic beauty and wild music,
where the Dark Knight shares my throne.

Karen Hayward ©2017

Image found on pinterest

 

 

 

The vast emptiness of none existence

The silent echo of humanity scream but their voices make not a single sound. The vibrational reverberation of irrational fear, the shallow drive, the eager spirits the driving force that leads the masses to the devil’s gates. And oh how he rubs his hands in glee as he sings to the ancient song of pan and dances with sprites at his side. 

Selene where are you and your silver carriage when I need you most? The heavens skies are empty and I see no sign of your trusted snow white horses their names tantalisingly teasing the very atoms of our existence. Where is your shining light when my skies are plunged into darkness? .

Guardians of the souls that walk this earth why can i feel not the softness of your feathers against my cheek and the soft breeze of your beating wings. Where have you gone?  Your voice loud and clear beckoning me from my slumber still rings through my ears, but eyes open I see it is just myself, my weaknesses and the emptiness.

Dear darkness from whence the devil walks on tippy toes with a sly and silken smile, I hardly recognise his face or skin for I know only the touch of his sins. Prey tell me you hold captive the light inside my world. What damp and dismal sheer delight he must feel as he ponders the muse of my soul and shakes salt within my wounds.

I stare.up into the vast emptiness of cloudy sky, the moons glow and the twinkling stars bid farewell as the lights dull  and the skies scream in angry outbursts. Perhaps God is the devil and together they sit and ponder existence in the eyes of the divine. The morning bird beckons and soon Selene must hand back her reigns as day creeps ever closer.

I search the floor for my shadow  but as always I cannot find it, for in this life it is my truth to be forever searching fir the element of abandonment in the words of the spoken and the eyes of the silent.

Karen Hayward 2016

Ejaculation of femininity.

Revolutionise conceptual ideologies

of female sexuality.

Violate the timid role of selfless

need and silenced screams.

Infringe on the thought tank of femininity.

Rebel without a cause other than ourselves.

Scream in the face of opposition.

Peak to the tune of internal desire.

Stir with the spoon of indiscretion.

Ejaculate against regulation.

Secrete the essence of being.

Drain the gushing rush of radiation.

Fly in the face of society

and raise in arms to Pan.

Take inspiration from the nymphs

companion, create mutiny for Selene’s

masquerade dance,

defy the misguided vision of Yin.

 

Karen Hayward ©2015.