Purpose… … to know my worth exceeds the grave and cradle, that each breath holds meaning and each second depth, yet, When I ponder of my existence I feel more alone than ever.
I do not wait for the apocolypse; neither enlightenment nor end days for both it seems to me pander to the reaper… … And I find no sense in surviving the darkness in wait for God’s mighty hand of justice, for what point lays in waking, breathing or ultimately kindness.
… I do not believe my woes to be the karmic debt of my Father or his before, have you ever met these men? To spend a moment in their presence is to know the strength of my conviction.
I tear holes in the ideology that we are born to die, that greatness is achieved on death, I ponder how many false martyrs are formed this way.
The same sun that will warm my soul will also burn my skin, and the same snow that ignites my spirit will freeze my heart, yet still I can be found dancing beneath them and when eventually I die, I will tell great stories of the way Gaia touched my soul, the way stars ignited my heart, the way darkness gave me light and light gave me darkness.
… And when I am before my Diety, when I am asked, am I happy to be home, I will say yes..
“But to have lived, is the greatest adventure of my existence.”
If I wanted to I could tear you down from your pedestal rip out your heart and inprint upon your soul. I could creep through the darkest corners of your mind and hypnotise your heart so that it beats to the sound of my voice. If I wanted to I could own the seconds in your day and the minutes of your sleep. If I wanted to. If I wanted I could crawl beneath your skin and mimic the sound of your beating heart. I could impose upon your sight my reflection and in every wonder you see, you will think of me. If I wanted I could make you pulse upon my name, keep you in a constant state of arousal. I could make the world become a blur an off shot in the corner of your eye. I could make music dance in the air around you and lyrics be your only nutritional need. I could teach you how to survive on words alone. If I wanted to. If I wanted to I could make your soul whisper my name as a lullaby to your heart. Perhaps one day I will.
I’ve checked the manual
I’ve looked again and again.
I’ve read the text,
Read the books,
Even watched a YouTube instructional video.
I’ve searched my thoughts,
Checked my memories.
I can’t read your underlying purpose,
I can’t box you
Or filter you.
I’m responsive without filter,
no edits in pencil,
no red marker telling me it’s wrong.
Perhaps you are faulty, perhaps I am faulty.
Maybe a simple programme update is required.