… to know my worth exceeds the grave and cradle, that each breath holds meaning and each second depth, yet,
When I ponder of my existence I feel more alone than ever.

I do not wait for the apocolypse; neither enlightenment nor end days for both it seems to me pander to the reaper…
… And I find no sense in surviving the darkness in wait for God’s mighty hand of justice, for what point lays in waking, breathing or ultimately kindness.

… I do not believe my woes to be the karmic debt of my Father or his before, have you ever met these men? To spend a moment in their presence is to know the strength of my conviction.

I tear holes in the ideology that we are born to die, that greatness is achieved on death, I ponder how many false martyrs are formed this way.

The same sun that will warm my soul will also burn my skin, and the same snow that ignites my spirit will freeze my heart, yet still I can be found dancing beneath them and when eventually I die, I will tell great stories of the way Gaia touched my soul, the way stars ignited my heart, the way darkness gave me light and light gave me darkness.

… And when I am before my Diety,
when I am asked,
am I happy to be home,
I will say yes..

“But to have lived, is the greatest adventure of my existence.”

Karen Hayward ©2017

No claim to image

Knowing that we are a soul
among souls within the
Infinite source…

… Does not make us an
awakened soul.

Then does…Standing
firm within
the shadows strong in
our convictions, aware
in our beliefs… Perhaps.

Or perhaps it is when
our awareness screams
louder than our ego,
when we care more for                                                                                                for the ripples moving from us,
then the ones heading at us,                                                                                       

Perhaps being awakened is when                                                                              we know the where about’s of our                                                                      every ripple and choose
to protect as the ebb along their path…

Karen Hayward ©2018

Image found on Pinterst 

Lose me in tender touches

Will you pull me in?
Gently press my cheek
to your chest
Curve your fingers across
my hip,
skin on skin.
Will your fingers slip
through strands of
my hair
As your leg slips between
my thighs…

Will you let me fall
for a moment,
be nothing
for a millisecond
Just let my soul
safely in the cocoon
of your arms…

… Before I rise
once again.

Karen Hayward ©2018

Image found on WordPress library

Hypnotised heart.

If I wanted to I could tear you down from your pedestal rip out your heart and inprint upon your soul. I could creep through the darkest corners of your mind and hypnotise your heart so that it beats to the sound of my voice. If I wanted to I could own the seconds in your day and the minutes of your sleep. If I wanted to. If I wanted I could crawl beneath your skin and mimic the sound of your beating heart. I could impose upon your sight my reflection and in every wonder you see, you will think of me. If I wanted I could make you pulse upon my name, keep you in a constant state of arousal. I could make the world become a blur an off shot in the corner of your eye. I could make music dance in the air around you and lyrics be your only nutritional need. I could teach you how to survive on words alone. If I wanted to. If I wanted to I could make your soul whisper my name as a lullaby to your heart. Perhaps one day I will.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Out In the dark without a filter.

I’ve checked the manual
I’ve looked again and again.
I’ve read the text,
Read the books,
Even watched a YouTube instructional video.
I’ve searched my thoughts,
Checked my memories.
But nothing.
I’m filterless.
I can’t read your underlying purpose,
I can’t box you
Tag you,
Or filter you.
I’m responsive without filter,
no edits in pencil,
no scribbles
no red marker telling me it’s wrong.
Perhaps you are faulty, perhaps I am faulty.
Maybe a simple programme update is required.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Deep… till I am silenced.

No one needs to know the secrets to our touch .

I’ve never liked society all that much.

Follow me into darkness leave your soul at the door.

By the end of the night, we’ll both be begging for more.

No one needs to know the desires of the dark.

Sexual experimentation is along this path.

Leave your intimacy at the door,

you wont be needing that no more.

Strip away the pleasantries and polite smiles that lie

fuck away my voice and leave me just with a sigh.

Karen Hayward (copyright)2015.