Liebster award!

Okay let me start by saying that I am completely pants when it comes to adding links and all that marlarky so fingers crossed this goes well :).

Here’s a song for you to listen to whilst you read all the great answers to the amazingly great questions set out by the lovely Autiwomandifferentbox


Liebster Award!!

A mahoosive thank you to Autiwomandifferentbox. Thank you kindly such a lovely award and your comment was wonderfully beautiful. Please do go hit up this blog Autism is not gonna be vanishing….ever. So the more brave writers like this stand up and scream about their journey, the better educated the population will become :). Also her posts are just go damn great.


The questions.

I love a bit of question answering I do, it’s fun and a great way to let you guys know a little more about me.

1. Please sum up your blog in 10 words?

Random words, unedited thoughts, second by second basis totally awesome. 🙂
2. What are your four favourite songs?

Really only four choices? Hmmm this is going to hard. Okay so I have this beautiful tendency to drive people crazy by playing the same song over and over again, repeat is my special friend and then boom I just stop listening to it. I tend to not really have favourites, it all depends on the mood that I am in. I am currently spilling myself all over Twenty one pilots, I am absolutely loving the lyrics to their songs and lyrics are what matter. A few months ago it was all about The Killers….for both of these bands the body language of the singers just makes me go all weak at the knees. But let me have a little think and a wander through youtube and see if I can find any songs that I return to over and over again.


Okay i’m back at this question. I still don’t actually have an answer. I love, absolutely love, love songs, I am actually a proper hopeless romantic,




3. What four things would you get rid of from the world? (try go for more trivial/fun things like beards, just as an example, not all saying world hunger we all want to get rid of that)

The buildings near my house, because they get in the way of the sun setting and it is really really annoying.

Bee’s and wasps cos they scare me. Okay I shall reword that…Bee stingers, I want to capture all the Bee’s and remove the pokey stinger.

Clothes…just saying the world would make more sense if we were all naked. We’d also be in the perfect position to also remove winter.

Flavoured chocolate, because too often I go to buy chocolate and discover it on the shelf next to mint flavour or orange flavour…do they not know that the flavour leaks and seeps into my deliciously plain normal flavoured chocolate? It’s like poison.

4. Would you prefer to be have the ability to teleport or the ability to fly?

I would love to be able to fly, the sights would be amazing, but let’s be honest it would be god damn freezing up there and forget wearing skirts or dresses, and my goodness like my hair doesn’t already look like i’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards most of the time! Nope. Teleportation, two clicks of a shoe and I am there. 🙂
5. What animal would you be?

Wolf….no Owl…no wolf, i’m sure….well maybe an owl.  Okay polar bear cos they are so bloody adorable I want one, I want to snuggle with one! Okay not polar bear I hate being cold. Back to Owl…but wolves are amazing too. Hmmmm okay i’m going with unicorn. 🙂
6. What possession (not person) do you cherish the most and why?

My headphones!!! They are broked 😦 one ear doesn’t work and I know I should go buy new ones but I love them, you can’t just be going and trading stuff in just because they get a little broked. Okay….why do I love them. For me they represent freedom. These specific ones have carried me from one world into another where I can explore everything in an untainted, unchallenged way. In a sense, I have heard music through them and they in return have listened to the deepest darkest thoughts in my mind. I love them. They are white. They are beauty. I lose them alot, I put them down and forget where i put them, when this happens it’s like someone has ripped out my heart.
7. What scares you the most?

The dark….indoors darkness.(outdoors darkness I absolutely love)! The shadows. The unseen. Thunderstorms at night time (day time storms not a problem!)  Not speaking what is on my mind but this is so difficult because my understanding of the world is so very different to other peoples, for example emotions and feelings don’t scare me in the slightest, I love feeling, but I often find people misinterpret this, so I keep it to a minimum which is hard cos this little soul of mine is capable of loving in sooooo many different ways and it would really, really like to be able to go round telling everyone that! Also I fear regret, majorly, and before every decision that I make I put an entire bucket load of thought into my actions, it often seems like I am winging it…I often am winging it, but actually my mind has already processed the situation.

Also people who don’t say things clearly, okay I would miss something if it came and bit me on the bum and I often find way after an event the other person involved we say ‘but…’ and ‘but I said/did this…’ nope, no assumptions made over here, this scares me because I am aware that I am reliant on people to be open, and people are rarely open.
8. Which is better breakfast, lunch or dinner?

Breakfast…but not at breakfast time. I don’t eat at breakfast time, I usually eat maybe around lunch time and seeing as I don’t really like sandwiches I tend to grab a bowl of cereal…usually porridge but at the moment i’m all about the cornflakes. oooooh one of my favourite ever songs!!!

I also eat cereal at bedtime…and sometimes when i’m up in the night, cos I have insomnia, so i’m usually up a few times a night just sitting and pondering looking into the dark skies :).

9. If you could be a fly-on-the-wall in any time period, anyplace, viewing anyone where, when, who, why would you be a fly-on-the-wall for that?

ooooh ooooh oooooh I wanna go back to day one.  Curiosity will always nag at me, it will always be what stops me from devoting myself to anything. I have to know the facts. If I can back to day one, I can see what really happened this would then allow me to make all future decisions based on evidence. Without evidence it comes down to blind faith, this world has taught me that to believe in anything blindly is stupid.
10. What would be your superhero power? Feel free to make up one doesn’t have to be traditional.

I’d like to be a crossover mutated superhero. I want to be able to touch others and absorb their powers whilst also being able to teleport and read minds. You see absorbing powers means I could be strong depending on what strength the situation requires. Teleporting means when I saw someone in need I could teleport them to safety, Reading minds means I would know when people were hurting…and who to chat up and when!!! ha ha
11. If you made an autobiography what would you call it? It can’t be your blog site name.

“The things I never told you.” lol I don’t know, to be honest it’s pure luck I even give my poems a title, i’d probably leave it blank and have a picture…..oh a mirror i’d just have a mirror on the front of the book! 🙂


Okay now the fun bit, I’m not going to nominate other blogs, this is because I nominate you all. If you have read this and thought this looks like fun, then hell get typing and link me in. Life is too short to wait for someone to tell you you are great, this is me telling you, that you are great and nominated. I will stick to Autiwomandifferentbox ‘s questions though because she did a super fine job of getting the questions together.

1. Please sum up your blog in 10 words?
2. What are your four favourite songs?
3. What four things would you get rid of from the world? (try go for more trivial/fun things like beards, just as an example, not all saying world hunger we all want to get rid of that)
4. Would you prefer to be have the ability to teleport or the ability to fly?
5. What animal would you be?
6. What possession (not person) do you cherish the most and why?
7. What scares you the most?
8. Which is better breakfast, lunch or dinner?
9. If you could be a fly-on-the-wall in any time period, anyplace, viewing anyone where, when, who, why would you be a fly-on-the-wall for that?
10. What would be your superhero power? Feel free to make up one doesn’t have to be traditional.
11. If you made an autobiography what would you call it? It can’t be your blog site name.


Karen Hayward © 2016

If I were a petal…


If I were a petal floating on the breeze,
would you wander after me through forbidden streets.
If I were a shell mislaid on the beach,
would you hear my ebbing heart, or think me out of reach.
If I were a poem, letters on a page,
would you see my soul and what it has to say.
If I were a thought, come wandering from the past,
would you see my beauty or only see the mask.
If I were the sun would you feel my warmth,
or only think about the on coming storm.
If I were the moon and I shone just for you,
would you know in your heart that my light was true.
If I were the seed bursting into life,
would you give me water and be my sunlight.
If I were a petal flying on the breeze,
would you close your eyes and fly along with me.

Karen Hayward ©2016 words and image.

I have a friend…

I have a friend

who I fantasize about.

He could be a she

and she

could be a he.

But still they would only occupy

the part of my mind where I fantasize.

I have a friend who I can talk to

for hours and days.

Together we both speak with passion.

He could be a she and

she could be a he.

Yet still they would only occupy that

part of mind responsible for chatter.

I have a friend that I can laugh

for hours with.

he could be a she and

she could be a he.

And still it wouldn’t change

that they would only occupy

a small section of my mind.

I have a friend who I can love

because I should, because it feels so

very natural.

He could be a she and

she could be a he.

Still they would merely

occupy the love quarter

of my mind.

I have a friend who I love

and I fantasize about,

who I passionately talk with and

who I can laugh alongside. He could be

a she and she could be a he, and still

I wouldn’t understand how it is they

got there and exactly where about’s

they are.

Would you?

Would you sit with me on a crisp and cold morning at 5 am and listen to the birds as they sing?

Would you watch me as I sat beneath the stars and searched for a shower of meteors to wish upon?

Would you stop and watch as I jumped knee deep into puddles of fallen rain?

And when a gust of wind blows so hard that it tickles my soul, would you laugh too?

When I fall asleep watching the tv and goosebumps spread across my skin, would you warm me?

Would you bring me tea and kiss away the world as I sit and write?

Would you talk to me in the dead of night when I have woken?

Would you gently push me when fear stops me?

Would you stand next to me and feel the last drops of heat draining from the sun as she reaches for her bed?

Would you bring me blankets as I  camp out in front of the window searching for a glimpse of the ever changing moon?

Would you?

Would you walk along the sand bare foot and feel the water against your skin, with me?

Would you watch as I jump and splash in the soft ebbing tide?

Would you see treasure in my shells and sea glass?

Would you take my hand when I am tired?

And when you look, would you see?

Would you let me touch you?

Would you let me reach you?

Would you let me show you all that I see?

Would you hear me?

Would you?

Karen Hayward (copyright) 2015.

liebster award, big thanks.


So, I was just nosing through the spam folder and I found this hiding away in there as though it had no importance in my life. Oh my goodness, how wrong, such a big surprise though. Thank you annoymous !ndian for nominating me for this super fantastic amazing award.

The rules for this very prestigious award are as follows:

1. Display the Liebster Award badge on your blog.

2. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Answer the nominator’s 11 questions.

4. Nominate 11 other new bloggers.

5. Draft 11 new questions for the people nominated by you.

6. Notify your nominees.

So, annoymous !ndian gave me these lovely questions. I’m actually looking forward to answering these, as it’s been a while since i’ve really reached out and interacted on the blog.

1. If you could choose a superpower, what would it be?

Oh Jesus Christ, I want them all. Lets start with Superman, now I love this guy, he can fly, is super strong and always comes swooping in to save the day just in time. I’d love to be able to just fly out of my window and float up there in space amongst the stars. Super strength would also be a great asset, and speed too, oh imagine how fast I could get the housework done, it would be good. As much as Superman is my real life super hero, and I do love my superman pjs, and jumper, seriously the man rocks my boat. But I think I saw on X-men one of the mutants had the power to change super powers, all he had to do was touch them and he took on their super power…power absorption…yeah I want that, I want a little teeny tiny bit of everything. Guys go check out this great page on super hero powers :).

2. Which book/movie character can you relate yourself the most with?

Oh this ones a toughy, i’m not entirely sure that I feel like I can relate to any characters. I think I often read to find escape, escape from me and my world, to explore how life could be or is for other people. However, there is a character in The Color Purple, Alice Walker. Mary Agnes, Squeak

‘Harpo say, I love you, Squeak. He kneel down and try to put his arms round her waist. She stand up. My name Mary Agnes, she say.’

This is the point when Mary Agnes takes control over her own life, she’s just raped and beaten. This simple line shows so much strength, it also shows the importance of a simple name, it is who we are, and who we refuse to be. I do have a thing about my name, it is the name I was given at birth, it is who I am, it is my strength and my power.

3.What inspired you to start blogging?

Nothing. Nothing inspired me to blog. I was completing my English degree and as part of my course I decided on a whim to choose an easier module (creative writing), I needed a rest and wanted to study something less intense and more enjoyable. I wasn’t expecting to be any good at writing. We were advised that we needed to be writing every day, a blog, it was advised, is a good way of doing that. So blindly I set up my blog with no idea of how or why. Like most things in life it soon became apparent what the purpose of my blog should be as I learned to write and explore different modes. Poetry came naturally to me in a way I never could have even have dreamed. It took a good year or so, for me to find my feet and truly start to bloom.

4. What is the most breathtaking sight you have seen?

Ok deep breathe, here I go;

  • my daughter, covered in slime and blood, wrinkled and crying, looking at me, looking at her for the first time,
  • my cat giving birth! seriously that stuff is crazy cool,
  • the moment my daughter and her besty managed to resolve a quarrel between the pair of them for the first time…they’re growing up!
  • I live at the seaside, and a few times a year we have a super massive high tide with waves crashing well over the sea defences. It is an amazing sight to see as this ferocious wave crashes down to earth followed by a seconds echoless silence.
  • Italy, such an amazingly unique creation.
  • A swarm of Dragonflies that kept visiting my garden in the summer last year! To see one is amazing, but too see a swarm of them dancing for you, breathtaking.

5. Books vs Movies? Which one do you think is better? Why?

99% of the time it is books.  The thing I love about books is that so much of the visualisation of the story is based upon your own life experiences. This allows us to connect to the story and truly relate, it gives us release and exploration of our own thoughts.

Sometimes, the film makers get it right though, sometimes. Game of Thrones I think is a great example of a book turned tv programme that has worked, and worked fantastically.

6. How would you describe yourself in one sentence?

I wouldn’t that’s just crazy talk, one sentence? Ain’t gonna happen…but i’ll try.

I’m a good soul with a wildly fierce spirit. 🙂

That wasn’t so hard!

7. What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Another toughy. I guess its gonna have to be, not to judge another person and when and where you can offer support and understanding. I mean who really cares, aint my place to care. If someone is happy then we should celebrate that happiness, not try and tear it down. We could all do with caring a little less about the opinions off others, life is for living, your way. There is no happiness to be found by waking up each morning and hiding behind a mask that you just don’t want to be wearing. People will except you, or not. Those that don’t, most likely have nothing productive they can offer you anyway, so really there is no loss.

8. What’s your favourite colour?

Yellow…like daffodils and daisies. Red…like wild passion and crimson blood. Purple..I actually have no reason for loving purple and yet I find it every where in my life, I suspect purple may be a colour that my soul loves. My favourite colour can change from one moment to the next depending on my mood.

9.  If you could travel anywhere in the world and money was no object, where would you go? Why?

America, route 66. Why? Intrigue I think.

10. Have you ever believed in ghosts?

Yes. As a kid I believed that ghosts were every where, hiding, waiting to scare me. As an adult my beliefs and knowledge have advanced. I don’t not believe in ghosts, but I am forever looking for proof, not ready just yet to blindly believe in something that I cannot see, and I think this is a good thing, I think that when we finally accept something like this, we stop searching and advancing, and instead accept blindly what we are told.

11. If you could live your life in a fictional world (like Panem, Hogwarts etc.) which one would you choose?

Narnia…no, no, no down the rabbit hole….no, no, no Hogwarts. Fuck it i’d be a fictional world hopper, diving between worlds as and when I wanted too!

Oh that was fun!

So who do I nominate….YOU. Yep that’s right, did you stop and read this, yep? Then you is nominated! So show me some love! The questions are as follows;

1. Odd socks? Love them or loathe them? When was the last time you wore odds?

2. It’s late at night and you’re peckish, what naughty food do you crave?

3. What does your dream home look like? (if money were no problem)

4. Elsa or Anna and why? (Frozen)

5. What are your secret reading habits? (I like to read old ladies magazines at the doctors surgery!)

6. What’s the funniest joke you know?

7. What is your fave book and why?

8. When the zombie apocalypse happens, what’s your plans for survival?

9. What is the toughest lesson you have had to learn in life?

10. Real book or e-reader, and why?

11. What are your plans if over night the entire world loses internet connection?

Ha ha have fun guys!