Hazy existence.

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The edge of my existence feels hazy as I struggle to wake from my deepest sleep in weeks. Between reality and fantasy the hinted touch is still on my arms, and the grains of sand have officially slowed to the rhythm of a beating heart as my mind follows suit. I ponder what walking through my unconscious would feel like now, knowing that every door is open and even the shadows are illuminated. I hazily watch a cloud, feel it as it envelopes my soul momentarily, I let it pass through me, I have fallen and my wings flutter gently regaining strength as the cloud holds me just long enough for my soul to rest.

Karen Hayward © 2016

I wish I had of known you.

Dedicated to all of the friends I have made along the way, the parents/grandparents and relatives and sometime’s just simply the people who get it!

I wish I had known you when

the health visitor asked

‘Is that all she can say?’

I wish I had known you that day

full of doom and gloom,

the first time sitting in the

children’s outpatient waiting room.

I wish I had known you

the first day it became inappropriate

for her to cry and freeze

in the super market, all eyes on me.

On the outside I was a rock

on the inside pink melting candy floss.

I wish I had known you when she was five

and still the stairs she screamed were too high.

I wish I had known you then.

It would have been nice to have had a friend.

I wish I had known you when the first friend

dropped away, communications just came to an end.

I wish I had known you every step of the way,

because had I , I’d have been able to say…

You’re doing just fine,

you’re so very kind,

I’ve a moment to hear

I can always be near.

As you hit each new issue

and reach for a tissue

I would have listened.

I would have stood at your side

been along for the ride.

I wish we would have known each other

back then,

when all of us felt alone and needed a friend.

Karen Hayward ©2015

 

Visual Distraction

A room without visual distraction a bed and you and me.

And I close my eyes and my mind scans around to take away all that I see

and at first i see only you and the only distraction is us. And I cannot switch

off the world, I cannot switch off my mind that runs at a constant pace.

I sit at the end of the bed willing the world away, still it begs to stay.

Then I feel you, your fingers trace across my shoulders moving my hair

your lips soft against my neck my eyes close as I feel your hand cup my breast.

You slowly reach toward my ear, small gentle nibbles that make my ticklish body

squirm and your arms holding me tight. Passion escapes from my lungs my lips

part and a rush of tingles spins through me. I no longer see the window or the

curtain or even the door. You pull my body back towards yours

and I can feel your heat against me. Your fingers are running through

my hair as your tongue touches me just there on my neck and still my ticklish body

bucks against you as energy builds in me. So you lay me down against

the sheets and pull my arms up and tie them gently to the posts. In the background

I am aware of visual noise that blurs from sight. My naked body bound

in front of you your eyes slowly skirt across me. Taking me in. You lay beside me.

I can feel you, hard against me. Your fingers trace the contour of my breast

as you once again explore my neck. Soft nibbles against my ear and I am again squirming.

My hips pushing up from the bed and the release is caught in my throat. You reach for my

nipples and softly bite at my neck I feel the edges of your teeth and still I cannot scream.

I am wet and I can feel the blood rushing through me. Your mouth is trailing

across my skin and your fingers move toward my reactive hips. I pull

on my ties wanting to touch you, to feel you beneath my fingers. My eyes are open

and the room blurs as I am distracted by you. Your fingers part my legs. I push

against your hand, I need to feel you. You stroke the inside of my thigh. Teasing.

Your looking now searching my face as your continue to tease

my thighs. And at that moment when you catch my eye you push your fingers

so deep inside of me my body arches and passion screams out of me…I no longer see the room. It’s me, you and a bed.

Karen Hayward (copyright) 2015.

A definative reaction.

Wear jeans
you said to me,
Wear something sexy,
He said to her.

Hold me,
Tight, you said to me,
Get on,
he said to her.

You sure, you whispered,
trust me.
Whilst the other fondled
at the sexy looking girl.

You wern’t my first ride,
But you had something to prove,
She wasnt his first,
But he had nothing to lose.

He flaunted his trophy,
Shared her around.
You kept me close,
A treasure you had found.