Supine in a moments serenity

3D somehow becomes

2D and I am

transported through time

to when clouds

were shapes

and the sky

was an endless

playground.

Terra tugs at my core

caressing lost strands

of self

as my inner child

sings nursery rhymes

fit for a killer.

Death lays all around me.

Abandoned graves

aging trees

Adulthood on the

lost lips of kids as

they grasp at the

milk cartons

and for a moment

I see St Nicholas

flying high through

cornflower blue skies

I close my eyes

for a last moments

reprieve

“please wake me

from this dream”

but no one hears

I am four and

discovering

that God does

not exist…

… I lay now,

supine in a

moments serenity

reflecting my daily

wish to wake from

this dream

they call life…

Karen Hayward ©2018

Vast darkness.

Four am silence echoes in the vastness of a  blackened sky, starless, the sun soon will rise, his rays dispersing the horrors of the night, but he cannot reach my mind.He cannot sooth the chaos of my thoughts. Darkness seeps between the cracks, morality a fractured dream of slumber, lost recollections of fairytales congealed in the dried crimson blood of reality. Silenece, a screeching spectre, stagnant horrors curse my escapism, slaughtering existence with promises of forgotten hope torn from the universal essence. Darkness sweeping through my soul a cold summers breeze,  caressing  the black vortex of my soul whilst I disperse between the lost seconds of sleep.
Karen Hayward ©2016

Falling moon.

There is no other moment in the day when I am as free. No moment when the silence is interrupted only by the mating call of an unseen bird. No other moment when the silence is my comfort. When the dark skies are my home. No other moment for the moon to whisper to me as she falls from the sky. This small open window to the universe is my hope when all hope has left me. Those seconds in time when I and the universe are at one.

Karen Hayward 2016.

Cherry blossom in a sea of beauty.

Blue skies and stars that twinkle,
pink petals that float softly on the breeze,
And whistle through the trees.
I stop to hear these.

Deep pink sunlight that creeps through the trees,
bringing me down, onto my knees,
Healing my heart, my soul and my mind,
Telling me always, that i’m a magical find.

Ferocious water crashing on land,
Reaching out to take my hand,
Caressing my body,
the beautiful sea,
Reflecting the image of me.

Staircase biult of despair.

I don’t know how I came to find myself at the bottom of the deep abyss.
I gave you my all,
You
Pushed
You let
Me
Fall.
You never reached for my hand,
watched as i lay crumpled from my land.
For a while i stayed right there,
Darkness consuming me.
betrayal and hate filled my thoughts,
Till finally i saw what i sought.
I boxed up your hate,
Looked up past the darkness,
To the freedom gate,
And i as i stood upon your hate filled stuff,
I knew i could do it,
It would be tough,
It would be rough,
but it’s me that i love.
So i pile them high,
look up to the sky,
as i climb this ladder of
Broken dreams,
To reach those warm, sun, beams.