And the darkness it consumed me…

And the darkness it engulfed me, took away my light.

And the coldness it became me till love was lost from sight.

And the shadows they caressed me, my comfort in the dark,

And the cave it did consume me and I forgot about the stars.

And the seconds felt like hours and the hours felt like days

And suddenly I realised this life was not okay.

I was tired treading water and feared the sudden rise,

All life had drained away from my sparkling eyes.

My voice was but a whisper, dreams shattered on the floor,

In the darkness of this cave I could live no more.
I clambered in the dark, felt my away around,

It took a little time and I tumbled on the ground.
I stood among the shadows the emptiness my friend,

Speckled on the walls I planned a different end.

I looked into the light and fear filled me to my core,

So I slipped into the darkness to plan a little more.

The water keeps on rising I’m drowning in a sea,

So sure that I’m alone I forget how to believe.

I give away my heart I sell it to the cold,

the devil gave a snigger, before declaring it sold.

And deep inside the cave I died a little more,

my death the strength i needed as I crumpled to the floor.
So I clambered in the dark, found my way around,

And it took a little while and I tumbled on the ground.


So now I stand alone the shadows are my freinds,

I plan another life with a beautiful end.

But the rocks are all so sharp the rising waters keep me down,

I constantly tread water or else I’ll surely drown.

I planned a life of me no rush upon my time,

the darkness is my friend now, together we are fine.

But the universe could see this my indifference to my heart,

So just outside the cave they placed a shining star.

I saw it in the dark I saw it in the light.

It gave to me fresh promises, it offered me much fright.


So I clambered in the dark found my way around,

And it took a little while and I tumbled on the ground.


I watched it from the shadows as it danced beneath the moon

I watched and I soon realised the star caused me to bloom.

But fear upon my soul and darkness in my heart,

I have to leave this cave and that drop is oh so far.

So the sky bent down to reach me, gave to me the light,

It waits in shallowed waters the calm ebbing to my might.

The water trickles down the stagnant flow does move,

The coolness on my skin cleanses and it soothes,

I teeter on the edge indifference leaves my heart,

I know I have to jump, but the fall is oh so far.
So I clamber in the dark for I know what I must do,

the shadows were my freinds the darkness was my hope,

so the universe stepped in, a star upon their sleeve,

this cave it was my home but this darkness I must leave.

I never had a reason, a reason I didn’t need,

but now I have a purpose, for I once again believe.


Karen Hayward ©2016

The vast emptiness of none existence

The silent echo of humanity scream but their voices make not a single sound. The vibrational reverberation of irrational fear, the shallow drive, the eager spirits the driving force that leads the masses to the devil’s gates. And oh how he rubs his hands in glee as he sings to the ancient song of pan and dances with sprites at his side. 

Selene where are you and your silver carriage when I need you most? The heavens skies are empty and I see no sign of your trusted snow white horses their names tantalisingly teasing the very atoms of our existence. Where is your shining light when my skies are plunged into darkness? .

Guardians of the souls that walk this earth why can i feel not the softness of your feathers against my cheek and the soft breeze of your beating wings. Where have you gone?  Your voice loud and clear beckoning me from my slumber still rings through my ears, but eyes open I see it is just myself, my weaknesses and the emptiness.

Dear darkness from whence the devil walks on tippy toes with a sly and silken smile, I hardly recognise his face or skin for I know only the touch of his sins. Prey tell me you hold captive the light inside my world. What damp and dismal sheer delight he must feel as he ponders the muse of my soul and shakes salt within my wounds.

I stare.up into the vast emptiness of cloudy sky, the moons glow and the twinkling stars bid farewell as the lights dull  and the skies scream in angry outbursts. Perhaps God is the devil and together they sit and ponder existence in the eyes of the divine. The morning bird beckons and soon Selene must hand back her reigns as day creeps ever closer.

I search the floor for my shadow  but as always I cannot find it, for in this life it is my truth to be forever searching fir the element of abandonment in the words of the spoken and the eyes of the silent.

Karen Hayward 2016

The secrets of you from the depths of the abyss.

Let the darkness swarm let it snake across my naked skin in the morning light as gold dust spills across the contour of my hip. Let the darkness reign. Let it seep through into my heart and blacken my  beats as the abyss calls to me.I’ll dance bare foot with the devil himself to feel you against my skin and breathe in the scent of your soul. Hell’s flames have nothing on my fires that burn at the mere thought of your creation. So let him come for my soul as my dying breath becomes the essence of life the very breeze that tickles the cherry blossom petals as they float aimlessly through the skies of tomorrow. Let him take me if having you is the damnation of the universe then hell was always home calling my name on the darkened streets. Let him take me, your soul consumes the atoms of my beating heart as the light of the world becomes my illumination, as the realisation becomes me that every word created in the past of unknown worlds, was created for me and with Grim at my side I will whisper into the universe the secrets of love, the secrets of you.


Karen Hayward ©2016

In and out the devil’s maypole.

Just playing about with nursery rhymes and words.


In and out the deathly shadows,
In and out the deathly shadows,
In and out the deathly shadows,
the devil is your master.

Tippy tappy tap tap, he shall take your soul,
Tippy tappy tap tap, he’ll make that fire glow,
Tippy tappy tap tap,  and pain is all you’ll know.

In and out the chilling shadows,
In and out the chilling shadows,
In and out the chilling shadows,
He shall be your master.

Tippy tappy tap tap, the pain will make you scream,
Tippy tappy tap tap, you’ll lick his fingers clean.
Tippy tappy tap tap, you’ll always know he’s been.

In and out the devil’s maypole,
In and out the devil’s maypole,
In and out the devil’s maypole,
The devil is my master.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Thee cloister of the damned.

Picture prompt can be found here

Lost somewhere in my darkest memories these doors

are made of ageing oak and the muted black of wormwood

edged with working iron bolts. Hanging, precariously from the left

gargoyle knocker,

a sheet of aged iron engraved by a diamond point, declares

‘This path is for the worthy few‘.

I know the notice well

I have been told it time and time again.

Among the devil’s soldiers

my spot is reserved by the blood of my sins

and the essence of those who have sinned with me.

Whispers of disdain circle my feet,

snaking round my ankles.

 Blind eyes blink away disgrace

binding my wrists with barbed wire vines.

I am shackled within my rightful place

surrounded by dying souls that reach in and remove my heart

replacing it with a lump of blackest coal.

We are the cloistered nuns of the devil

our souls sold into Satan’s subservient slavery.

I feel the heavy shadow of concrete looming over me

the cloister of destruction caging us within

the walls of the damned.

Place coal under pressure and it will become a diamond,

a kaleidoscopic rainbow radiating light

into the darkest troves of my soul.

The spiteful vines of the blind cannot bind such light

as my shackles fall to the blood soaked ground.

I stand at those doors daily. Some days I turn the handle and peer

out into the light,

other days I remain within the cloister of the damned.

One day I will walk through

leaving them open as I go.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Would Satan light another flame.

If for a moment the cage door fell open,
freedom at my tired feet, would I fly?
Soar above the clouds feeling the sun’s heat upon my porcelain skin?
Would I hell.
I’d search the flaming skies for sin,
let passion reign and finally win.
I would scour my days for a moments touch,
devour your soul without a moments rush.
If the iron shackles that hold me down,
fell and once again I was how I came,
would life become a dangerous game?
Would I hunt without thought,
for the prey I have sought.
Would I look, would I be,
feel only what I see.
Would my guides hang their heads in shame,
would Satan light another flame?
And would every angel know my name?

Karen Hayward ©2016

Blood tinged forgotten fun with the glorious Beezlebub.

Spare me the history making class.

This is history in the palms of my hand.

Writing itself in the blood of my sins,

smeared across the empty page.

There’s no reason for the rose hue tint,

let’s not glorify the facts.

Let us speak with a double edged sharpness,

free ourselves from the grappling hands of a fucked up society.

Stop listening to the screams of the fallen.

Let them become the echoed stepping stone of reality.

Their sweat dirtied with the mud of indecision and regret.

Guilt etched into every breath they take.

The stench rising from their mangled bodies.

Breathe in death,

let the those floaters become you,

swimming in your lungs as your heart pumps.

Death, life, death, life.

The constant beating of fear.

Close your eyes feel that darkness.

Know in your soul that Satan too is an angel of God,

carrying out the work of him almighty.

So I sin in the name of the Devil

as he drags me down into the depths of hell

glaring deep into my soul,

he searches but cannot find,

for I am broken, but I am found.

The only blood upon my skin is self made luminous sin,

tainted in the beholders eye .

Let’s not dirty with the sweat and tears of a foxes tongue

the beauty of our blood tinged forgotten fun.


Karen Hayward ©2016