Supine in a moments serenity

3D somehow becomes

2D and I am

transported through time

to when clouds

were shapes

and the sky

was an endless

playground.

Terra tugs at my core

caressing lost strands

of self

as my inner child

sings nursery rhymes

fit for a killer.

Death lays all around me.

Abandoned graves

aging trees

Adulthood on the

lost lips of kids as

they grasp at the

milk cartons

and for a moment

I see St Nicholas

flying high through

cornflower blue skies

I close my eyes

for a last moments

reprieve

“please wake me

from this dream”

but no one hears

I am four and

discovering

that God does

not exist…

… I lay now,

supine in a

moments serenity

reflecting my daily

wish to wake from

this dream

they call life…

Karen Hayward ©2018

A core deep flaw

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I fought all things taught
all lessons learned all battle
wounds earned. And yet,
here I am, the corner begging
my company, reflection caught
upon the forced crimson pause.
A reflective stance, a core
deep flaw. Strip bare the
necessities of life, remove
my destructive Armour and
I am weak, whole without value.
How will you love me if I calm
the fires that flame upon your
words? Oh! To discover I still
hold harbour to such fears.
Such scars beyond deep,
we learn, learned behaviour,
echo, mimic and resurrect the
the dark shadows of our existence.
We are a reflective stance
of inner needs, nourishment,
eternally perhaps feeding from
each other’s energy, an unstoppable
cycle rotating across our very own axis.

Karen Hayward ©2019 Image via wordpress library

Cinders of yesterday thoughts

My thoughts would likely
set ablaze the page,
Perhaps best I let them fester
In silent implosions
dot to dot conclusions
and solid doubt
of realities illusions.
Delusions
My thoughts would likely
tear holes through
constellations
rip apart solar systems
Redesign the universe
and yet, would
surely quench this
burning thirst
A cure for perhaps
mothers tongue, a curse.
My thoughts
My thoughts
My thoughts would surely
set ablaze the page
Crimson flow,
nature’s rage
Not wrong not right
Blinded by terrors sight
upon my tongue then
I shall bite,
whilst quietly waiting
for the emptiness
of night.

Karen Hayward ©2017

Image and words

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Molecules for the Blacklight

This isn’t my pen,
someone stole my pencil,
My thoughts are caged
in empty milk cartons
ready to post
“wanted” pictures
made from trace.
Tattered and torn
half arsed ink stains
I write in vain.
The butler stole my
tea, gave me toast
buttered both sides
then dropped me
from the greatest height
My ego has a pain
My heart refuses
now to beat
My soul, deciding
it’s a game,
gave up trying
to be brave.
Reality is a blast
bound in kinky,
curly leather
straps, molecules
for the black light
and rancid eyes
watching,
waiting,
praying…
This isn’t my pen
sticky fingers
and licking tongues
toxify my ink
with fugu juice
injecting the heart
vain, hooked up
to the needle
dulling, nullifying,
I’ve sent her into excile
Coventry for lovers
abandoned my muse
to the dungeons
for her crimes
but the prissy little
bitch, took all
my fucking lines…
Now my ink is going limp
erectile dystunction
without the blue pill
I’m just another writer
stuck between the trees
with nothing to say
just words to up and kill….

Karen Hayward © 2018
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Shattering essence of voice

For a fleeting moment space was mine
designed beyond sight
Vulnerability of heart, takes flight
as thought and words soon fly.

If asked, I’d sit three seats to the left
Somewhere between here and mars
I’d converse silently, just me and the stars
and declare my wishes to skies of dark.
It wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last.

Those twinkling lights have long known your name,
In twilight battles to drive the devil insane
I tell Selene my secrets
I’m not sure she hears and never certain it matters…

I’m not always sure anything matters Living seems only to flatter
We’re specks trying to etch our names into the infinite
spending lifetimes searching
hopelessly for the lost scent of a love we once had
And in the grander scale of things

…I’m never certain that anything matters

Then he whispers and my darkness shatters.

Karen Hayward © 2018

To Purge, to purge, to purge

Some people eat to purge
They devour platefuls of
Love, spoonfuls of hate
Bowls spilling with disgust.

Some, drink vodka, gin
Whiskey and bottled beer
Swigging back pain
Sipping on indifference.

For some, it is one more
run, sprinting back the tears
Curling the fears, stretching
the broken fragments clear.

I purge on the dark recesses
of my skull, pull away at
silver threads, devouring
memories made to break.

I lose myself in the silence
of melancholy let it swim
naked through my veins
Tearing me with each stroke.

I let each one fall, tasting the depth
of their essence, let it
ricochet through me in
forgotten undertones of being.

I purge myself through the
Lost memories of my ancient
voice, capturing them within
A moment, then release,
as my lungs breathe and my
eyes smart at the purging.

Karen Hayward ©2018

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